I Had to Replicate the Nitrogen Cycle in My Pants

Chick in stall, after biochemistry exam: Thank god that’s over. Now I can finally take a shower.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/collegethe-sights-sounds-smells.html

Overheard by: a [clean] student

We Replaced Frank’s Regular Fellatrix with a Thumb-Sucker. Let’s Watch What Happens

Black woman #1: Did you suck your thumb growin’ up?
Black woman #2: No, I don’t think so.
Black woman #1: I did. Thumb suckers give the best blowjobs, you know.
Black man: Really?
Black woman #1 : Yeah. Once I was at a party with a friend, and we hooked up with a guy. Well… we went off together and had a test, if… you know what I mean… and he said I was the best — way better than my friend.
Black man: I’d like to try that test.

Mkt Frankford El subway stop
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/see-freud-was-right.html

Overheard by: b&n guy

Lisa Gets Sold into Slavery on the Barbary Coast

White girl on cell: But we couldn’t tell if he’s a pirate…

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/

The Ultimate “Get Out of Jail Free” Card

Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! Yo’ braces just nicked my lip!
Girlfriend: Well, I don’t hear you complaining they be nickin’ yo’ dick when I be suckin’ you off!
Boyfriend: Damn, bitch! You is hot!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/s‑starts-really-early-these-days.html

Overheard by: ouch!

Or You Can Take Advantage of This Special TV Offer!

Lady: Our cat used to jump up and pee on the stove. You can only imagine the smell of cooked urine.

Vet’s office
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/i‑love-smell-of-hot-urine-on-cool.html

Overheard by: hortense

Then He Had to Leave to Feed the Holy Spirit

Cafeteria lady: Last night Jesus took me home!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/jesus-jaun-ramirez.html

Overheard by: cherrynwhite

But Not Nearly As Cocky

Hipster, looking at Dr J mural: Man, he must have a three-foot dick. I bet his dick is as big as Allen Iverson.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/in-other-news-allen-iverson-shrunk.html

Overheard by: anonymous

And the Make-a-Wish Foundation Rejected My Request

Hobo to three women crossing street: I wanna bite y’alls’ butts! I wanna bite a butt!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/07/hell-just-use-it-to-buy-alcohol.html

Overheard by: tron

Three 6 Mafia Appears on the Rachael Ray Show

Guy #1, at urinal: That bitch is out of control.
Guy #2, at urinal: Yeah, she’s all kinds of fucked up. She needs to chill.
Guy #1: She needs to fuckin’ simmer. Simmer and sauté.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/04/let-it-go-bobby-flay-just-let-it-go.html

Overheard by: teamcinnamon

Those Axe Ads Get Straight to the Point

Hurried lady, panting after running onto train: Smell like men in here!