Teenage boy: I’m so ripped my back has a six pack! Six-pack back!
Portland, Oregon
When the Elderly Are Exposed to Adam Corolla
Old lady to grown daughter: Well you know what your brother’s problem is? He’s pussy-whipped!
San Jose, California
Not Even Doggy-Style?
Girl: But she said you were cute.
Guy: Yeah but it’s like: puppies are cute, but you don’t fuck a puppy.
New York City
New York
Overheard by: I’m more of a cat person…
I Hate This Country and Its Degenerate Cinema!
Frustrated man with heavy Arabic accent to wife: I got the most chicky-flick movies I could find!
Supermarket
Connecticut
Keeps Trying to Stage a Comeback, Though
Hobo #1: No matter how you look at it, a swastika is still a swastika.
Hobo #2: (nods in agreement)
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Adam
No One Has Problems Like I Do!
Teary-eyed teen: But I don’t wanna work…I wanna go to Istanbul!
Palmer, Alaska
…and Rent All the Cool Cars
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
Notice: Headline Delayed Due to Vomit on Keyboard
Employee: Did you know it is impossible to stuff three ounces of hamburger in half of a mouse? I tried for, like, 10 minutes.
Wildlife Rehabilitation Center
Minnesota
Can They Still Call It Martha Stewart Living?
Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
He’s Part Woodpecker
Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.
Iowa
Overheard by: confused and disgusted
