They Sell a Kit for That, Too

Professor: It’s like IKEA — you buy some furniture, think you can put it all together, you go home and fail and then go slit your wrists in the corner.

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/or-stab-yourself-in-eye-with-allen-key.html

Overheard by: shawn

When My God Fills Me Up, I Gain Five Pounds.

Lady #1: This cheese is sooo good.
Lady #2: Mmm, it is nice.
Lady #1: No, but it is really good. I mean, cheese is just amazing. I mean, it’s not like you grow it or anything — it’s man-made, from just milk. And a bit of mold! It’s incredible!
Lady #2: Wow, you really love it, don’t you?
Lady #1: Cheese is my religion.

Palazzo Versace, Gold Coast
Queensland
Australia