His G‑String with the Ele­phant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though

Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #1: I mean, like, I was­n’t even sur­prised that you went home with him!
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #1: Yeah.
Sum­mer fun Bar­bie #2: Yeah, me nei­ther.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html

Over­heard by: al­so not sur­prised

But You’re Our Span­ish Teacher

White teacher: Time to yell grades! These are the good ones: Smith, Jame­son, De-Je­sus…
Asian kid, whis­per­ing to friend: Is­n’t it sup­posed to be De­ge­sis?
White kid, to teacher: Did you just say ‘De-Je­sus’?
White teacher: I’m white.

Co­lum­bia, New York

Over­heard by: Fa­ther Ser­aph