Blonde, on childbirth: Well, there's blood, and there are vaginas, and both make people uncomfortable.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
I Warned Him That Jumping While Dark Was a Felony in These Parts
Yuppie: So then this guy jumped out wearing a ski mask and at first I laughed, but then I realized he was black!
Goshen, Indiana
Overheard by: Dej
…Bong Hits, Anyone?
Student: But, I mean, it's like, with Octavian being Caesar's son, and Caesar's thing with Cleopatra, it's almost like she's Octavian's mother! And then Antony's married to Octavia, and his thing with Cleopatra–it's like he was having an affair with his mother-in-law!
Classics professor: Wow, that made my brain hurt.
Memorial University
Canadia
Overheard by: Mine too.
Could You Leave Me Alone with This for a Few Minutes?
Drunk man to man holding rolled-up newspaper: There's a kind of phallic-ness about it, a sort of masculine quality…
The Ship Inn, Southbank
Brisbane
Australia
I Never Know What the Hell I’m Upset About
Teenybopper #1: Oooh, look at the nail polish I just got!
Teenybopper #2: I never use Sally Hansen nail polish anymore, because they test on animals.
Teenybopper #1: Really? What does that even mean?
Teenybopper #2: I don’t know. Something about pigs, I think…
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: EL
Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse
Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.
SUNY Geneseo
New York
Overheard by: Jeni
Now Everyone Fasten Their Duct Tape — We’re about to Take Off
Pilot: There is no smoking on this aircraft. The penalty for smoking is two thousand dollars. If you had that kind of money, you’d probably be flying United.
Southwest Airlines flight
Overheard by: broke
And You Carried 'em in Your Wallet Until They Turned to Powder
Wife to husband: She said all they did Saturday night was go to the grocery store around 11:00 pm. And looked at all the condoms. She said that she didn't realize there were so many different kinds: red ones, black ones, ribbed, lubed, etc.
Gay guy at next table, overhearing: Jeez… I can remember when they only came in regular and mint flavored.
Restaurant
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: A. Nonymous
The Dressing Will Lube My Inner Thighs for the Next Long Ride
Sad dude: The great thing about being a bike courier is that my muscles no longer respond to commands unrelated to bicycling. For instance, I just spilled a Caesar salad all over my pants.
http://www.overheardquote.com/?p=62
Because That Upcoming Chess Tournament Won’t Win Itself
Mom to little kid: How was Tae Kwon Do, honey? Did you learn how to break someone’s nose?
http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/cute-soccer-mom-picking-up-cute-little.html
Overheard by: jeff