Her Shirt Says “Je­sus Is My Home­boy”

Fat drunk guy: I re­al­ly like your shirt. It’s very in­tel­lec­tu­al.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I’m in col­lege, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that’ll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I’m 18. Well…I mean, I’m 23.

Shreve­port, Louisiana

Over­heard by: Elle

When You Lo­cate the Con­trols Of Your Space­craft

Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor lead­ing class in Kegel ex­er­cis­es: And every­body squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy In­di­an, af­ter shiv­er spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky les­bian pro­fes­sor: It’s great, right!

Health Ed Class
Bor­ough of Man­hat­tan Com­mu­ni­ty Col­lege, New York

Over­heard by: Try­ing not to laugh at all the se­ri­ous faces try­ing to hide these pri­vate ex­er­cis­es

Bren­da Can’t Wait for the Ro­bot Apoc­a­lypse

Two-year-old girl look­ing at tv tow­er: Dad­dy, what’s that?
Dad­dy: That’s a tele­vi­sion mast, so you can watch tv.
Two-year-old girl, af­ter a long pause: Sooo, not a ro­bot?

Perth
Aus­tralia