Her Shirt Says “Jesus Is My Homeboy”

Fat drunk guy: I really like your shirt. It’s very intellectual.
Girl: Uh, thanks.
Fat drunk guy: I mean, I’m in college, I like to think deep, you know? I want to make films. Deep films.
Girl: Yeah, that’ll be cool.
Fat drunk guy: How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16.
Fat drunk guy: Oh, I’m 18. Well…I mean, I’m 23.

Shreveport, Louisiana

Overheard by: Elle

A Mortal Insult in Albanian

Girl rambles on in Albanian for two minutes, then suddenly in English: So you can just eat my toe!

Durres
Albania

It’s in the Microwave

20-something chick on mobile: How many times do I have to tell you? There is no cocaine in my fridge!

University
Queensland
Australia

Overheard by: how many times

I Was More Of an Excuse for Two Guys to Have Sex

Girl to friend: Your first time was a three-way?

Cambridge, Massachusetts

I’ll Consider It — What Else You Got?

Nine-year-old boy: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Mom: Then take off your pants.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/05/mom-im-nine-and-even-i-know-that-sounds.html

Overheard by: academia

Never Take That Option Off the Table

Old man pushing shopping cart, singing happily to himself: Maybe I should get an 8‑million-dollar lawsuit against my own family!

Seattle, Washington

When You Locate the Controls Of Your Spacecraft

Quirky lesbian professor leading class in Kegel exercises: And everybody squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy Indian, after shiver spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky lesbian professor: It’s great, right!

Health Ed Class
Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh at all the serious faces trying to hide these private exercises

Maybe “Pedophile” Is a Hot New Non-Alcoholic Cocktail?

Young woman to another: Oh, you could pull that off, but *I* would like a pedophile.
Passer-by to friend: I don’t think that means what she thinks it means… We can only hope.

Phildelphia, Pennsylvania

Brenda Can’t Wait for the Robot Apocalypse

Two-year-old girl looking at tv tower: Daddy, what’s that?
Daddy: That’s a television mast, so you can watch tv.
Two-year-old girl, after a long pause: Sooo, not a robot?

Perth
Australia

Or Was That the Time I Was Temporarily Decapitated?

40-something suit #1: So you remember when I was dying of melanoma?
40-something suit #2: Is that when you couldn’t go on the golf trip with the boss?
40-something suit #1: Yes, that was it!

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Overheard by: MilwaukeeBabe