Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
I Have to Recite an Affirmation Just to Get a Latte
Barista: I totally hate what rehab’s done to coffee houses.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/and_liquor_stores.html
Overheard by:
Fifth Grade’s Usually When Kids Develop Flayva
White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren’t you ever white?
Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siberia
When You’re Raised by a Jewish Mother, You’ll Understand.
Man drinking coffee: And that’s why I always treat everything like it’s going to kill me.
Ohio
His G‑String with the Elephant Head on It Was a Bit of a Shock, Though
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn’t even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html
Overheard by: also not surprised
And Possibly a Few Sex Hats
Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
That’s a Map Of Narnia, Jessica.
Girl: Oh my god, can you help me find the Dominican Republic of the Congo on this map?
Westchester, New York
Well, It Was New to Us.
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don’t just walk away and leave me standing here, you can’t just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
But You’re Our Spanish Teacher
White teacher: Time to yell grades! These are the good ones: Smith, Jameson, De-Jesus…
Asian kid, whispering to friend: Isn’t it supposed to be Degesis?
White kid, to teacher: Did you just say ‘De-Jesus’?
White teacher: I’m white.
Columbia, New York
Overheard by: Father Seraph
I Asked the Purple Monkey in the Corner, and Even He Didn’t Know.
Man: I just had a dream where I was stoned, and when I woke up, I couldn’t tell if I was stoned or not.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355805032/the-safe-assumption-is-yes.html
Overheard by: jfa
