Hoochie: Yeah, I don’t know, but Josh and I totally hooked up for a while last year.
Friend: What? Why?!
Hoochie: What do you mean, ‘Why’? Josh is hot.
Friend: Dude, hooking up with Josh is like hanging a sign on your vagina that says, ‘Come on in, chlamydia.’ If I was looking for a communicable disease, Josh is the first place I’d go.
Hoochie: Oh…
California State University-Chico
Chico, California
Overheard by: Kimberly
High school girl to friend: You know what I hate? Cocks.
Friend: I know! They’re so annoying.
California
Girl, pointing: That kid — he’s my new friend.
Friend: What? That tiny kid?
Girl: Yeah. You said I need a new friend. That kid is my new friend.
Friend: Whatever.
Girl: I think his name is Kyle.
Cosmo Park
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Teen girl #1: Isn’t that, like, dangerous?
Teen girl #2: Well, yeah, but I’m at the point in my life where getting wasted is more important than not dying.
Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Drunk guy: Everyone in this room should get hair extensions.
Toronto
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Young bearded hipster to college girl: They keep telling me anal bleaching is the way to go, but do girls really notice that stuff?
Manhattan, New York
Thug filling out employment application: Hey, when you say, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a felony?’ do you mean found guilty, or just sort of accused and arrested?
Wendy’s
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: maybe he shouldn’t use the plastic silverware…
Small child, pointing to an “eat pussy” graffiti painted on the side of a restaurant: Daddy, what does that say?
Father: It’s a menu.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Chikara
Guy to girl: You just give off that vibe that says “make fun of me!”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: marisawin
Girl, about guy she had over the previous night: It freaked me out. I told him he had to do a double flush, a courtesy flush, and light a match, or he wasn’t allowed back.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
