…Bong Hits, Anyone?

Student: But, I mean, it's like, with Octavian being Caesar's son, and Caesar's thing with Cleopatra, it's almost like she's Octavian's mother! And then Antony's married to Octavia, and his thing with Cleopatra–it's like he was having an affair with his mother-in-law!
Classics professor: Wow, that made my brain hurt.

Memorial University

Overheard by: Mine too.

I Never Know What the Hell I’m Upset About

Teenybopper #1: Oooh, look at the nail polish I just got!
Teenybopper #2: I never use Sally Hansen nail polish anymore, because they test on animals.
Teenybopper #1: Really? What does that even mean?
Teenybopper #2: I don’t know. Something about pigs, I think…

Ottawa, Ontario

Overheard by: EL

And You Carried 'em in Your Wallet Until They Turned to Powder

Wife to husband: She said all they did Saturday night was go to the grocery store around 11:00 pm. And looked at all the condoms. She said that she didn't realize there were so many different kinds: red ones, black ones, ribbed, lubed, etc.
Gay guy at next table, overhearing: Jeez… I can remember when they only came in regular and mint flavored.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: A. Nonymous