Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Cashier: Want to hear the lamest shit? I went to get Subway for lunch… And they were out of bread! Completely out! What the fuck is up with that?
Norman, Oklahoma
Barista: I totally hate what rehab’s done to coffee houses.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/and_liquor_stores.html
Overheard by:
White girl to Hispanic chick: I swear, in 5th grade you were, like, white.
Hispanic chick: White, like, acted white? Or white like white skin?
White girl: Like, white. Weren’t you ever white?
Panera Bread
Fairlawn, New Jersey
Overheard by: Siberia
Man drinking coffee: And that’s why I always treat everything like it’s going to kill me.
Ohio
Summer fun Barbie #1: I mean, like, I wasn’t even surprised that you went home with him!
Summer fun Barbie #2: Do you mean that I had sex with him?
Summer fun Barbie #1: Yeah.
Summer fun Barbie #2: Yeah, me neither.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/im_still_laughing_over_summer.html
Overheard by: also not surprised
Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
Girl: Oh my god, can you help me find the Dominican Republic of the Congo on this map?
Westchester, New York
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don’t just walk away and leave me standing here, you can’t just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
White teacher: Time to yell grades! These are the good ones: Smith, Jameson, De-Jesus…
Asian kid, whispering to friend: Isn’t it supposed to be Degesis?
White kid, to teacher: Did you just say ‘De-Jesus’?
White teacher: I’m white.
Columbia, New York
Overheard by: Father Seraph
Man: I just had a dream where I was stoned, and when I woke up, I couldn’t tell if I was stoned or not.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/355805032/the-safe-assumption-is-yes.html
Overheard by: jfa
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist