Chickie #1: You have a hole in your jeans.
Chickie #2: I love my hole!
Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: The Old Man
That Consists Mostly of Panting and Licking Strangers
Drunk girl: You know, me and Jared are a lot alike. We both kind of throw ourselves out there with the same kind of desperation, only mine… is a more quiet desperation.
University of Idaho
Idaho
Overheard by: Funnygirl
Mom Harvests My Pockets When She Does My Laundry
Guy: Do you have any money left?
Chunky 40-something man: 60 bucks, that should be enough to get me by until my mother gives me more.
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: Kristin
It Was Almost Like Being in the United States
Train guy: I just got in last night from Denver.
Train girl: Oh yeah? What part?
Train guy: Colorado.
South Shore Train
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Chubi
This Is Quite an Impressive Resume
Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!
BART Station
Pittsburg, California
Overheard by: Hannah
Kinda Like Lox on a Jew
Weird chick: I bet tuna would taste really good on a Cuban!
The Loop
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
All You Ladies Need to Do Is Dab Some Beer behind Your Ears and You’re Set
Psychology professor: What will your Prada bag get you? It doesn’t get you sex. All the men aren’t going to be like, ‘Oooh, Prada bag!’
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
They Sell a Kit for That, Too
Professor: It’s like IKEA — you buy some furniture, think you can put it all together, you go home and fail and then go slit your wrists in the corner.
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/or-stab-yourself-in-eye-with-allen-key.html
Overheard by: shawn
Someone’s Been Reading People at the Dentist’s Office
Mom: Did you hear that Harry Lee died?
20-something daughter: Yea, and Sylvester Stallone came to the funeral, I thought that was odd.
Previously uninterested dad: Interesting fact about Sylvester Stallone- he has a penial implant.
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
When My God Fills Me Up, I Gain Five Pounds.
Lady #1: This cheese is sooo good.
Lady #2: Mmm, it is nice.
Lady #1: No, but it is really good. I mean, cheese is just amazing. I mean, it’s not like you grow it or anything — it’s man-made, from just milk. And a bit of mold! It’s incredible!
Lady #2: Wow, you really love it, don’t you?
Lady #1: Cheese is my religion.
Palazzo Versace, Gold Coast
Queensland
Australia