Drunk girl: You don’t read?!
Guy: No. I think you should live life, not read about it in a book.
Drunk girl, slowly: I find that worse than being fucked up the ass.
Columbia, Missouri
Archive for the ‘Philosophy’ Category
And If You’re Asking Who’s a Better Rationalizer…
Girl to friends: I mean, if you’re talking about who he’s technically going out with, then she’s the girlfriend and I’m the other woman. But, I mean… If you’re talking about who he confides in more, I’m the girlfriend and she’s the other woman.
Dobbs Ferry, New York
Overheard by: Lex
That’s What He Calls His Penis.
Man at urinal, peeing, to no one in particular: This toilet smells like my sadness.
Bar
London
England
Overheard by: Dirty PJ
Except for Excrement on Outdoor Statues
Girl to guy: I think that should be my new catch phrase, “I want my pigeons!” But what does that even mean?
Guy: If we knew that, all the world’s problems would be solved.
The Star Bar
Atlanta, Georgia
Whoaaaaa.
Professor: I’m afraid of being afraid, and so, I am afraid.
San Diego, California
Sounds Like a Good Rule
Girl to friend: And then this guy, I can’t remember his name, he was like “hey, you want some cake?” But I’ve read his blog and he believes in creationism, so I was like “no, thanks.”
Christchurch
New Zealand
Well, Everyone Knows That
Jock: Diversity is an old, old wooden ship.
Wilfrid Laurier University
Waterloo, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Ship’s Captain
Instant Coffee: Explained
Philosophy teacher: So, I’ve created a robot that knows how to go into my office and make me a coffee. But what if something goes wrong? What if the coffee’s in a different place, or there’s no milk? What if there’s bees in the sugar?
Perth
Australia
My Secret? I Like Forcible Sex
Drunk teen: Anyone could be a rapist… I could be a rapist, that lady with the bag could be a rapist… [Lady with bag looks over, appalled.] Oh, well, I’m sure you are really very nice!
King’s Cross Night Bus
London
England
Overheard by: Andrea
Commit a Heinous Crime and Come Talk to Me
Loud grad student in restaurant: I don’t know why anyone would want to be a relativist when they could be an expressivist!
Overheard by: Monkey
