Race

Teen #1: So he's running around with his dick like slapping his abs and he goes “what time you wanna come over?”
Teen #2: His Puerto Rican dick?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2, sighing dreamily: Oh yeahhhhh.

Flinder's Street Station
Melbourne
Australia

Black guy: You keep hearing about how racist Britain's getting, it's pretty scary.
White girlfriend: Oh, totally. I think that before anyone in that country over 40 is allowed to make a public statement they should take a test that's like “is this quaint, or just racist?” and if they fail they shouldn't be allowed to say anything.
Black guy: That would be an awesome game show.

Calgary
Alberta
Canadia

DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!

Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Becca

Black lady on cell: I said, ‘Yeah, I’m black, but dat don’ mean I be makin’ counterfeit money!’

Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Little girl to mother: I always get weirded out when we come to Asian markets.
Mom: Why is that?
Little girl: Because there are so many Asian people in one place!
Mom: Why is that weird?

Uwajimaya
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Koley

Gay husband to his husband: It's these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.

Fairfax, Virginia

Girl: Everyone knows Barbie is disproportional. Look! She has no butt! And her waist is tiny.
[Pause.]Professor: I bet black Barbie has a big butt.

Los Angeles, California

Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.

Mall
Buford, Georgia

Overheard by: girl with the magical booty

Light-skinned black woman: I’m just saying, I’d have been in the home and not in the fields.

Taco Mac
Atlanta, Georgia

Black 20-something guy to friend: Sir Mix-a-Lot killed more black people in the 90s than heart disease and Aids combined.

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: I know his pain