Rednecks

Old hillbilly: I love my old lady so much, I told her that when I die, I want her to cremate me, put me in a douche bag and give me one more go ’round…

Athens, Georgia

Rednecks in pickup truck, driving past bus stop: Hey, pretty girl! Want a ride?
(pretty girl waiting for bus shakes her head, truck moves on)
Pretty girl, to male companion: So, is everyone here just really friendly, or what?
Male companion: No, they're creepy. Don't talk to them.

Highlandtown, Baltimore

Overheard by: tourist

Bogan guy: Oh, I forgot to get you something for dinner tonight.
Bogan girl: I wish I could walk to the shops. It's alright for you, you wanna walk somewhere, you just go.
Bogan guy: You can't go to the shops, it's not safe.
Bogan girl: I really like walking. You know, I just go out on my own, and I'm outside…
Bogan guy: But it's not safe on your own, and it's so far away.
Bogan girl: Yeah, but I really like walking, walking is really cool. I really like it.
(pause).
Bogan girl: So, what, are you gonna have me eat two-minute noodles for dinner?
Bogan guy: For fuck's sake, I don't care what you eat! Walk to the fucking shops if you fucking want to! Just stop your fucking whinging!

Bus
Perth
Australia

Redneck man with mullet coming out of bathroom: Well, son, that was some mighty fine hand dryer, wudn't it?
Son,excitedly: Yeah, pops, sure was!

Shepherdsville, Kentucky

Overheard by: Chelsea

Redneck lady: Here's where they stop believing the bible is true. This is where you end up, the ghetto.

Creation Museum
Petersburg, Kentucky

Overheard by: Going to hell

Cowboy #1, in cowboy dialect: One thing I can tell you, if one of them bites you on the lip, don't panic. Just wait till it starts to let go and then push it off of you.
Cowboy #2: You know, that's right.

Denny's
Willcox, Arizona

Overheard by: Alan B. Barley

Redneck woman: He said that he could tell she really dug him because she farted in front of him.
Friend: Oh, she'll fart in front of anybody!

Square Mall
Hammond, Louisiana

Overheard by: pull my finger

Redneck: I'm not racist or anything, I mean, this guy was a pretty nice nigger. He didn't even try to steal my money.

Adrian, Michigan