Isn’t That Kind of Gilding the Lily?

Girl: Hey, Chantelle*! Chantelle!
Chantelle: What?
Girl: Did you bring skank boots?
Chantelle: Yeah.

Drama class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Posted on January 15, 2023
Canadia, Hoochies, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Shoes

When the Need to Be Offensive Overcomes the Need to Get Laid

Short boy, yelling inches away from short girl's face: We should hang out!
Short girl: (walks away silently)
Tall boy, laughing: Dude!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Posted on December 12, 2022
Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Oregon, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Weirdness

Given Time

Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?

Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: Deathly Confused

Posted on December 9, 2022
Ass, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Guys, Queers, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality

Teenage Boys Live in Fear That Gayness Will Stage a Surprise Attack

Boy holding slinky: I feel weird.
Boy holding other end: It's okay. We've got a slinky!

High School
Eugene, Oregon

Posted on November 26, 2022
Feelings, Guys, Oregon, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Toys

Oh, What's the Big Deal About Cunnilingus??

Guy jogging around track with friends: Well, if it's still alive we can't eat it, can we?

Robbinsville High School
New Jersey

Posted on November 10, 2022
Food, Friends, Guys, New Jersey, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High]

If You Know What I Mean

Girl to friend: I gave my ostrich a fur coat.

Rich Catholic Girls School
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on October 25, 2022
Default, Euphemisms, Girls, Hair, Missouri, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Vagina

Thankfully the Stupid Seem to Always Die Off First

Environmental science teacher: What, in your opinion, is the most pressing environmental issue our planet faces today?
Clueless redhead, raising hand unsurely: Is it… The birds?
Environmental science teacher: Excuse me?
Clueless redhead: Isn't there something up with birds? Like, aren't they dying or something?
Environmental science teacher: Um… Thousands of different animals are dying…
Clueless redhead: Oh. I thought it was just birds.

High School
Los Angeles, California

Posted on October 4, 2022
Animals, Birds, California, Compare and contrast, Death & dying, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers

Then Do the Romantic Thing and Sell It on the Internet

Ditzy teen girl to ditzy friend: Oh my god! I would never be able to live with myself if I died before I lost my virginity!

High School
Springwood
Australia

Posted on September 21, 2022
Australia, Death & dying, Girls, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Virginity

In His Electronic Sepulchre There by the Sea

Girl discussing Edgar Allan Poe's The Oval Portrait: It's just that it seems like he went through and for each word looked in the dictionary for the longest synonym. Or, well, did he use those words back then?

Baltimore School for the Arts
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on August 23, 2022
Default, Girls, Maryland, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Words

I'm Saving Those for the Yearbook

Ambiguous boy, yelling to friend across hall: And no pictures of me without pants!

High School
Nashville, Tennessee

Posted on July 27, 2022
Clothes, Friends, Queers, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Tennessee, Undies

School [Elem., Middle, & High]