Archive for the ‘Scotland’ Category

Without a Rich Fantasy Life, Scots Would All Commit Suicide

Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters…you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don’t you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.

United Kingdom

Overheard by: Jen

On the Plus Side, We’ve Finally Found a Decent Place for Our Slip-n-Slide

Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We’re at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn’t get up the hill! It was awful!