Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady: What?
Customer: Do you sell Elastoplast?
Shop lady oh, I thought you said something about “the last of the Apaches.“
Customer: That film was called The Last of the Mohicans.
Shop lady: What film?
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: somedaftlassie
Professor, talking about archaeological surveying: Even in the mountains, people will be hunting, farming, running from the police.
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah
Teenage girl: What are you doing here?
20-something girl: Came to get some lighters because I lost mine.
Teenage girl, after a moment: Your virginity?
20-something girl, slowly: No, my lighters…you just choose what you want to hear and make up the rest, don’t you?
Teenage girl: Yeah.
Scotland
United Kingdom
Overheard by: Jen
Girl: Look, if I buy you an ice cream, will you stop talking about cannibalism?
Guy: Maybe.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Drunk guy outside window: I didn’t storm the beaches of Normandy so you could fly around on pieces of wood!
Montague Street
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah (trying to sleep here!)
Exasperated girl in the middle of the street: I really don’t feel like taking my shirt off for this guy!
St. Andrews
Fife
Scotland
Overheard by: Nina
Shopper, examining fish: So, have you had any perverts coming in here yet?
Shop assistant: No… Not yet.
Edinburgh
Scotland
Overheard by: Lena
Loud woman on phone: I was at the funeral on Wednesday and Melvin was sitting in the pew behind me. Halfway through the ceremony he leans forward and goes: “We’re at the wrong funeral!” So we had to get up and find the right one. When we got there, the hill was so steep the hearse couldn’t get up the hill! It was awful!
Train
Aberdeen
Scotland
Little girl to mother: Revenge is made from marbles.
Aberdeen
Scotland
Overheard by: Fiona
Scottish hipster: So, we find him tied to this pole near the railway tracks, stripped and covered with tar.
English hipster: Tar? So, is that easy to get around here?
The Lot
Edinburgh
Scotland
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
