Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.
Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: EEE
Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
Little boy: How ’bout you get naked, and I get naked, and then we give naked hugs!
St. Joseph, Michigan
Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it’s a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j‑j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That’s only for guys. And in the Amazon!
Redding, California
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Young suit #1: So how was that new restaurant you went to?
Young suit #2: It was okay. (points at girl next to him) She had a salad, she liked it. But I don’t eat salads.
Girl (pleased): It tasted like leaves.
Rosslyn, Virginia
Guy to girlfriend: I thought it would be funny to eat an O’Henry while pooing.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Alywishus
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don’t like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You’ll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
Creepy lurky guy at bar (walking up and smelling girl sitting at table): Sorry y’all. Just smells really good.
Friend of girl (giving guy a dirty look): That was awkward.
Creepy lurky guy: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be here then.
Friend of girl: Well, maybe you shouldn’t be trying to smell us.
Blue Martini
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Ariola
Girl, after hugging friend: Um, why do you smell like a scrotum?
Guy: Wait, what?
Manhattan, New York
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
