Siblings

Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she's getting more action than you or because she's corrupting our youth?

Denver, Colorado

Girl to sister: Go away and come back when I can love you again.

Ruby Tuesday
Hagerstown, Maryland

Overheard by: Eavesdropping customer

Wise eight-year-old boy to brother: Getting a girlfriend is the easy part. But you have to know how to keep them.
Attentive six-year-old: How do you get them to stay?
Wise eight-year-old: You have to find out what kind of food they like to eat. And give them a plastic unicorn.

Nature Park
Tampa, Florida

Older sister: Did you know Louie Armstrong smoked a lot of pot?
Younger sister: While he was in space?

Auburn, Washington

12-year-old: It’s my birthday! You said you would be nice to me today!
9-year-old sibling: No, I said I wouldn’t hurt you today.

Washington, Illinois

Overheard by: Laura

Mother to daughter: I think it's time to cut your hair again.
Daughter: No! I don't want it cut! You only cut it a few weeks ago! It's not fair! Why can't I have long hair? (pointing at passenger) She has long hair! (pointing at girl) She has long hair. Everyone has long hair except for me!
Son, smugly: Except for boys. (pause) But daddy has long hair…
Daughter: Even daddy has long hair! She has long hair, she has long hair–everyone has long hair except for me!

Perth
Australia

Overheard by: Emily B.

Teen girl: If I saw a really crazy sandcastle, I'd totally kick it down. Anyone would.
Teen sister: I would never, like, mess something up like that if someone was really good at something. Unless they were really good at something I hated. Like… being ugly.

Rumson, New Jersey

Teen daughter: Mom, what does an orgasm feel like?
Mom, looking at older daughter: Ask your sister, she'd probably know better than I would.

Portland, Oregon

Blonde 20-something to sister: This morning I was rinsing my mouth with mouthwash and also peeing, and then I realized I had to sneeze and I was like, “uh oh…this can only end poorly” …because I was kind of stuck.

Bellingham, Washington

(little girl follows older sister into the bathroom)
Older sister: Sarah, do not come in here with me! I'm on the phone!
Sarah: But I have to go to the bathroom! Besides, you're just talking to your boyfriend.
Older sister: Sarah, I mean it! Go up to the room.
Sarah: You know daddy doesn't let me go in the elevator by myself.
Older sister: Just do it, he's not going to know.
Sarah: But someone could take me!
Older sister: Yeah right, who would want you?
Sarah: The Vice President of the United States!

Marriot Hotel
Teaneck, New Jersey