Alice Passed; Her Liver Failed

Girl, walking across campus with friends: I think two beers and a shot is the perfect amount for that class!

University of Arizona

Why Is That Always Your Question?

College girl: I really want to go as Superman!
Friend: You aren’t going to stuff your crotch, are you?

Melbourne University
Australia

Hmmm… Ulysses. That Sounds Good.

Sorostitute #1: Yeah, the handbook says I can either take two foreign language classes or two literature classes… So, like, I took the literature classes because, like, at least I can read that, y’know?
Sorostitute #2: So true…

Patterson School of Accountancy, University of Mississippi
University, Mississippi

I Eat It Before Those Orgies with the Football Team

College girl #1: Eating raw fish makes you super fertile.
College girl #2: Really?
College girl #1: Yeah, thats why I get pregnant so much.

Japanese Restaurant
Richmond, Virginia

He’s Part Woodpecker

Sorority chick, from across room: Hey, do you wanna go steady?
Frat guy: Sure, when?
Sorority chick: I dunno… Let me ask my boyfriend and get back to you.
Frat guy: Sweet. Just as long as I get to tap that.

Iowa

Overheard by: confused and disgusted

…Even You with Your Thunder Thighs, Zeus.

College girl to friend: the nice thing about a toga is that you don’t have to wear Spanx with it.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

If She Needs to Have That Many Of Them, Maybe She Shouldn’t Stop?

Sorority girl: Well, she should stop having abortions then!

University of Michigan

Complexion, Teeth… Is There Anything Spunk Can’t Do?

Sorostitute: I hear seminal fluid makes your teeth whiter.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part‑1.html

Overheard by: doug

And P.S.- You Might Want to Wash Your Face

Frat boy: Hypothetically speaking, if you were on your period, would you invite a guy to go home with you? Like, if it was your third day and you weren’t having a very heavy flow?
Sorority girl: Justin, this doesn’t sound very hypothetical.

University of Iowa Library
Iowa City, Iowa

From Containing All That Evil?

Girl #1: Do you think anyone’s like… Actually a good person?
[long pause]Girl #2: Ugh, my stomach really hurts today.

Drew University
Madison, New Jersey