Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women’s tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women’s tights make your junk look bigger!
Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: strictly boxers.
Princess at front of bus: … And I went through seven laptops in high school.
Passenger: Oh, yeah? I went through ten laptops in high school!
Princess, offended: It’s rude to eavesdrop, you know!
5 bus
San Francisco, California
Attractive passerby: And then she was all like, “my parents would never press charges against you.” And I was so touched…
Houston, Texas
Enraged Frenchman to woman and son who is discreetly peeing on wall: What is wrong with you? Find a bathroom, this is a business! (starts walking away and then comes to a woman and her teenage daughter sitting on steps) And you two, get out! What are you, from the mountains? (to himself, walking away) Oh my god! I don’t believe this!
Fira
Santorini
Greece
Guy forcing way through crowded dance floor: Excuse me, you fucking beautiful bitch.
Girl, stepping aside, then suddenly turning to friend: Should I be offended?
Privilege
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: elise
Man: … With my wife.
Woman: Oh, you’re married?
Man: Yeah, and I have a four-month-old baby girl.
Woman: What’s her name?
Man: Widget.
Woman: Oh, that’s cute.
Subway
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Nick B
20-ish girl #1: Yeah, I was called ‘Sweet Pea’ all the time when I was little.
20-ish girl #2: To this day my dad calls me ‘Peanut.‘
Fat lady nearby, to no one: Yeah, I got a nickname, too. They call me ‘Jiggly Puff.’
TGIFridays
Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
Overheard by: I can’t imagine why.
Leader of group of nervous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling papers here… for tobacco?
Convenience store clerk: Sorry, man. We’ve only got ones for pot.
Noland Road
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: snickering customer behind them
Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint pedophilia. It’s a Catholic church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy, stunned: What the fuck was that?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412833/nobody-was-around-this-morning-to-help-him-take-his-meds.html
Overheard by: well, that was odd
Churchgoer to another: Did you fart? Something smells like buttermilk.
Methodist Church
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Nick
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
