Student #1: So what do you think, eh?
Student #2: Are you Canadian?
Student #1: Why in the world are you asking me that? Is it because I said “eh”?
Student #2: Well, yeah.
Student #1: That is a total misconception! Not all Canadians end sentences with the word “eh”! I can’t believe you think that!
Student #2: (thinking it over) So are you?
Student #1: Canadian? Yes.
Wabash
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Laughing as I pass
Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.
Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia
Canadia
Student: Hey, sir, did you hear about James?
Teacher: No.
Student: He’s got fifteen people living in his head. Want to join them?
Teacher: No, not a chance.
Bristol, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it’s thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I’ll show you!
High School
Skillman, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they’re talking about.
Instructor to student, during class debate: You look like you’re deep in thought there. Anything you want to share with us?
Student: Dude, I was just thinking about hot dogs.
College class
Farmington, Connecticut
Overheard by: Student
Thesis advisor to uncomfortable-looking advisees: You girls might be too young for it, but if you ever have the chance to have sex on a water bed, you should do it.
Colgate University
Madison County, New York
Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
Sophomore girl #1: Did you hear Matt and Derek are going out now?
Sophomore girl #2: No way! I totally gave Matt his first blow job. He can’t be gay! (pauses) Oh my god! Do you think I turned him gay?
Passing junior guy: Yeah, that’d do it.
High School
Annapolis, Maryland
Roomie #1: I wonder what ever happened to James*. I mean, we haven’t seen him since fifth grade. I hope he’s not in a mental home or something — him and his weird mom. Maybe he’s finally doing what he’s always wanted to do: work with dinosaurs.
Roomie #2: Yeah, or living with them.
Roomie #1: That is sooo true.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: i love dinosaurs
Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It’s not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don’t know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.“
Advisor #2: That’s not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Disco Dan
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
