And Serve Beef

Frat boy: Indian food can’t be any good! I mean, if it was, they’d have chain restaurants!

Washington, DC

Ooo, Now Tell Me the Plot Of Unbreakable!

Teenager #1: Wanna rent Untraceable?
Teenager #2: Oh, that’s like that movie where they can’t trace him.

Vestavia Hills, Alabama

Overheard by: Keith

It’s an Excellent Movie, Excellent Movie

Boy: Have you seen Rainman?
Friend: Nah.
Boy: Ohmigod, I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman! I mean I haven’t seen Rainmanbut I can’t believe you haven’t seen Rainman!

Newcastle-Sydney Train
Australia

As We Shall Learn Through Bitter Experience

Professor: I just think of this class as 40 days in a row and then it’s over. Like the Jews in Egypt.
Student: It was 40 years.
Professor: 40 years, 40 days. Same difference.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Our Sex Life Is Gaggleicious

19-year-old girlfriend: You’re a silly goose!
19-year-old boyfriend: You are too!
19-year-old girlfriend: That’s why we are dating!

Memphis, Tennessee

If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!

Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!

Adelaide
Australia

Overheard by: monkey

And Really, Really Stupid, Too

Frat boy #1: She was so dumb.
Frat boy #2: You should watch how you use that word. It doesn’t really mean stupid — it really means ‘deaf.‘
Frat boy #1: Okay, she was really deaf.

Colorado State University
Fort Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: English Major

Lightly Stroke It.

Flight attendant: Contrary to popular belief, pushing the button with the flight attendant on it will not turn your flight attendant on. So don’t push it.

Flight to New York

Overheard by: Erica Lynn

…While Pretending You’re Alan Rickman

Guy, clueless: Wow, I can’t believe Snape was evil the whole time!
Girl, exasperated: I can’t believe I fuck you every night.

Cinema, after Harry Potter
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Ellen

I Only Go to the Cafeteria to Test Myself

Blonde girl entering the cafeteria: These lines are so long! Thank god I decided to be anorexic!

Mary Washington University
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: waiting in line