Client: So, how will we work it out if I want a custom tattoo designed?
Tattoo artist: Have you ever been shopping with your girlfriend where you just sort of follow her around for a while and point stuff out until you figure out what she wants?
Client: Yeah…
Tattoo artist: It's just like that, except you're the girlfriend.
Americana Tattoo Parlor
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Clarissa St. Tacocrotch
Dude: I thought you could use chopsticks.
Chick: Why?
Dude: Because you have tattoos.
Chick: And that means I can use chopsticks?
Dude: Well, one of them is Chinese…
Noodle Man, Ryrie Street
Geelong
Australia
Overheard by: Does the septum ring make her part animal?
Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
White guy with dreadlocks: I don't even know how many penises and swastikas are drawn on him. It's ridiculous! (walks by a parked pickup truck, reaches in the window, and honks the horn) Horn works!
Owner of the truck: What the hell?
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Felicity
Teen girl on cell: I saw this guy with a man tramp stamp… A mamp stamp.
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: sadie
