Girl: We need to go steal more diapers from Target.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Archive for the ‘Texas’ Category
Second Grade Is a Jungle
Seven-year-old boy: Just because he’s a kid doesn’t mean he should not have to moisturize his hair.
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: sandy
On an Unrelated Note, Never Put Together a Lecture During Happy Hour
Professor: The French lords were so disbelieving. It was like your favorite puppy going ‘Rawr, rawr, rawr!’ and taking a chunk out of your arm — they were just like, ‘Huh? What?’
Burdine Hall, University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: she actually growled
I’d Rather Chafe Your Chimichanga
Tired-looking girl to security officer: Are you the guy who’s going to burn my taco?
Dallas-Fort Worth Airport
Texas
Clay Aiken?
Student: I have that song “Ring My Bell” in my head.
Advisor #1: The one by Diana Ross.
Student: I think so.
Advisor #2, from adjacent cube: It’s not Diana Ross.
Advisor #1: Well, who is it?
Advisor #2: I don’t know, but not Diana Ross.
Student: And that song “In the Navy.“
Advisor #2: That’s not Diana Ross either. Just as gay, but not Diana Ross.
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: Disco Dan
I’m Sorry I Ever Chose to Study The Necronomicon
Guy going to study for finals: I’m kinda scared to sit in a cubicle alone… by myself… Alone with my thoughts. Not good.
PCL Library
University of Texas at Austin
…I Put Down My Whip and Hugged Her
Attractive passerby: And then she was all like, “my parents would never press charges against you.” And I was so touched…
Houston, Texas
And Who Did Your Tits?
Customer: I’m so sorry about the mess I left in the dressing room — I just had to be sure I loved what I was buying for the big day!
Sales associate: No problem. A girl only gets married once, right?
Customer: Actually, this is my second marriage… What kind of bra are you wearing?
Dillard’s
Denton, Texas
Just Lucky, I Guess
Girl: She has vagina legs.
Guy friend: How does she have vagina legs?
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
By That Point, We Were Married with Three Kids.
Punk girl: So we started fucking on a regular basis, right? And then I realized that I may actually like the guy!
University Campus
Austin, Texas
