Conductor: Next and final stop: Atlantic City, folks!
(several passengers give confused and bewildered looks)
Conductor: Yeah, I changed my mind. I don’t like Trenton.
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: passenger
Archive for the ‘US Geography’ Category
You Wanna Do That, the Army’s Recruiting Right Down the Block
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
The Passengers Could Have Used a Bit More Oxygen
Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?
Airport
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: weary traveler
…By Lying
Guy #1: I was supposed to interview my grandma for my sociology project, but I didn’t. I’m going to have to like, make up her life right now.
Guy #2: Why didn’t you interview her?
Guy #1: Well, she lives in Oregon, and you know, the time change…
Guy #2: Dude, there’s no time change from here to Oregon.
Guy #1: I know that, shut up! I’m trying to make myself feel better.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Beatrice
Said She’s Too Old to Start Wearing Pleather Again
Old lady to another: Mary started crying because she thought they were taking her back to New Jersey.
Pizza Shop
Lima, Pennsylvania
Sounds Almost As Cool As Our Job.
Woman on cell: I’m coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I’m going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
If That’s True, How Come There’s Never Been a Real World There?
Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we’re going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
Whether You Deserve It or Not
New York liberal Jewish humanities teacher: You don’t have to be all “ma’am” and stuff around me.
Student: Ma’am, I was raised in the South, you have to expect some non-ironic chivalry, sorry.
Florida State, Tallahassee
Overheard by: Dr Steve Manly
I’ve Been Waiting for the Perfect Time to Share That with You.
Sorority girl #1: Are you gonna go?
Sorority girl #2: Like, I don’t know. Like, I think I’m gonna go.
Sorority girl #3: Like, I think I’m gonna go, but like I don’t know yet.
Sorority girl #2: Oh my god, like after I came back from Vegas, I gained some weight, so like I took Adderall for like two days!
UT
Austin, Texas
And Where’s the Bear with the Picnic Basket?
Girl to boyfriend (referring to Old Faithful): Do they turn it off at night?
Yellowstone National Park
