US Geography

Girl to boyfriend (referring to Old Faithful): Do they turn it off at night?

Yellowstone National Park

Michael Stipe to crowd: This next song is set in the state of Ohio.
Drunk dude: Go Chicago, woooooo!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Geographically Inclined

Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.

Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Professor: Apparently nothin' says lovin' in Louisiana like carving your name into the Bonnie and Clyde monument.

University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee

Overheard by: darkhorse

Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I’m back in Jersey again.

University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it’s just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, ‘genitalia’? Is that the right word? Well, you know — that smooth Southern thing.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Customer: Excuse me. I just have to know, are you Polynesian?
Worker: No, I'm Native American.
Customer: Oh. Where are they from?

Utah

Guy: Yeah, it’s like that one time we ended up at the homosexual movie theater.
Girl: They have gay movie theaters?
Guy: Yeah, it’s called, like… Homoplex or something.
Girl: We don’t even have those in Boston.

Diner
St. Louis, Missouri

Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.

Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not from here

Girl #1: Did you know that the Playtex tampon headquarters are located in Dover, Delaware?
Girl #2: Did you wikipedia it? I’m a Tampax gal, myself.
Girl #1: No, I read it on my box of Playtex sport. I was learning French by translating the toxic shock warning labels.
Girl #2: You’re my favorite.

Art Institute of Philadelphia
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania