Checker, as customer places avocados on the belt: Are these lemons?
Grocery Store
Centerville, Utah
Overheard by: JC
Archive for the ‘Utah’ Category
Squidward Moved to Utah for Religious Reasons
Girl to guy wearing alien-hand gloves: What the hell are those?
Guy: They’re my testicles… No! My… My… Test – test… The things that octopuses have!
Girl: Tentacles?
Guy: Yes! Tentacles…
High School
Utah
Overheard by: Weskimo
I’m Pretty Sure Bill O’Reilly Claims To
Little girl: Mom, why isn’t my last name ‘Christ’? Why doesn’t everyone have the last name ‘Christ’?
Hill Air Force Base
Utah
Overheard by: Wasn’t his middle name H?
All You Gaywads Must Be Jealous
Hoochie, about guy she met on a band trip: He was gorgeous, with a dick as big as my arm! [Notices band class is listening] Oh, my bad.
High school
Utah
One Of These Days, We Should Get a Dog.
Woman on cell: No no no…I haven’t been doing much shopping at all. The only thing I’ve bought is a fur dog collar. It was only $300!
Park City, Utah
No! Haven’t You Been Listening?
Lady 1: So they’re getting married now.
Lady 2: But I thought she had a baby.
Lady 1: Yes, but it’s his brother’s. See, her sister wanted to be with him so she told him her sister couldn’t have normal children. It turns out she’s the one who can’t have children.
Lady 2: Oh… so they’re getting married?
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Confused listener
Stick Something Weird in Your Penis, Then
20-something girl: If I had a penis I wouldn’t know what to do with it. Awkward.
20-something guy: If I had a vagina I’d stick all kinds of weird stuff in it all the time!
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: akvinsc
There Are Muslims in Utah?
Boy: Why do you wear that on your head?
Muslim girl, indifferently: So the aliens don’t read my brain.
High School
Utah
Overheard by: I need one of those!
The Peer Pressure Is Overwhelming
20-something suit on cell (angrily): But mom, you don’t understand! Everyone I know is already on the folk dancing team!
Brigham Young University
Provo, Utah
Happily, Her Default Assumption Is Cancun.
Confused lady on PA: Ladies and gentleman, flight 250… Wait, where am I?
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
