Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
Student: Hey, sir, did you hear about James?
Teacher: No.
Student: He’s got fifteen people living in his head. Want to join them?
Teacher: No, not a chance.
Bristol, Vermont
Overheard by: Misaki
Freshman girl, gesturing: I bet it’s thiiiis tiny!
Big black freshman, barreling up stairs: No! I’ll show you!
High School
Skillman, New Jersey
Overheard by: 3 guesses at what they’re talking about.
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Teen #1: So he’s running around with his dick like slapping his abs and he goes “what time you wanna come over?“
Teen #2: His Puerto Rican dick?
Teen #1: Yeah!
Teen #2, sighing dreamily: Oh yeahhhhh.
Flinder’s Street Station
Melbourne
Australia
50-something woman to friend: She’s got a phenomenal voice – when she sings, it’s like she has gills instead of lungs.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2007/12/quotebook-2007/
Overheard by: Raptor
Male professor, in a very girly voice: Aaaahhh! I’m being trampled by sea horses.
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
50-something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of.
Durand Eastman Golf Course
Rochester, New York
Married man at party: They went after my nipples!
Washington
Overheard by: Salazar
Woman to coworker: You’d think if they were going to decapitate someone they wouldn’t hide the evidence in their rear window.
West Lebanon, New Hampshire
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist