Nerdy girl to three friends: Of course you run the risk of showing your underpants, but in the face of zombies, I wouldn’t mind so much.
University of King’s College
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by:
Archive for the ‘Zombies’ Category
…and Rent All the Cool Cars
Little girl: (talking over airport announcement)
Father: Quiet for a second!
Girl: (continues talking until announcement is over)
Father: Great. What if he was saying “Run! Zombies!”? We’ll be sitting here like idiots while the zombies come…
O’Hare Airport
Chicago, Illinois
As We Learned at the Scientology Convention
Dude: Well, maybe pickles are proto-zombies!
Burlington, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rose Fox
They’re Right Next the Megavitamins, Which Also Don’t Work
Guy: I’m not going to stop and ask someone, “excuse me, where are your ray guns?”
CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Religious Differences Are Best Resolved Before Marriage
Girlfriend: So, you don’t believe in vampires, right?
Boyfriend: Nope.
Girlfriend: Okay, but do you believe in ghosts?
Boyfriend: No, I told you I don’t believe in that stuff.
Girlfriend: But you at least believe in witches, right?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend (exasperated): Now you’re just being naive!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: kingdubby
Also the Argument Against the Nuclear Family
Guy: I wonder if any of these bombs are still functional. That way, we know where to go for supplies in the zombie apocalypse.
Girl: What? You idiot, you don’t use nuclear power against zombies! They’re already dead, so they can’t get cancer and die! You would just wind up with a bunch of radioactive zombies!
Guy #2: Yeah, then it’s just like Spiderman, but with radioactive zombies instead of Tobey Maguire and spiders!
Atomic Power Museum
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: Amred
…Just Eat More Popcorn and You’ll Be Fine
Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he’s been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he’s a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you’ve been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
But With Slightly Less Dancing
Woman to girl: What exactly is a zombie? My son wants to know. Is it like a ghost?
Girl: A zombie is the living dead. A ghost is just a spirit, while a zombie is the dead body.
Woman: Like Michael Jackson?
Girl: Yes, like Michael Jackson.
Yarmouth, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil
English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we’ll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don’t know, man. Let’s go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Anyway, Aliens Share a Hive Consciousness and Can’t Die
Sophomore #1, during heated debate about zombie safety: Wait! What if there were alien zombies?
Sophomore #2: Shut up! We’re talking about realistic stuff, here!
Theatre Class, Rossview High
Clarksville, Tennessee
