Overweight brunette: I love you.
Overweight blond: I'd love you more if you cleaned your armpits.

University of Houston, Texas

Girl #2, seeing girl #1 pulling out gum: Ew! Is that cum gum?
Girl #1, very confused: What? No! What the hell is cum gum?
Girl #2: Oh, my mom calls the gum with the juicy stuff in the middle cum gum.

Manhattan, New York

10-year-old boy #1, looking at Martin Luther King plaque at Lincoln Memorial: Abe Lincoln stood here! See? (reads) “I have a dream.”
10-year-old boy #2: Who?

Lincoln Memorial
Washington, DC

Girl: I wanna get a cat and just get it seriously obese. Is that fucked up?

LA Harbor College
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: uh, yeah, kind of

Goth girl to friend: Even though I'm not a virgin I'll go to the ritual with you.

Monster Mania Con
Cherry Hill, New Jersey

Guy to friend: I told him if he tries to pull that oral shit again I am going to eat all the leather in his apartment.

The Pig and Whistle
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Brendan Mack

Sales clerk: Would you like a hug?
Woman: Normally I hate hugs, but today I am having an opposite day. So… Why not?

Mountain View, California

Overheard by: lith

Girl to friend: And then I woke up in a church. What the fuck?

Westwood, California

Overheard by: Janie

Young gay man on cell in well-known gay park: Hey perv, leave the playground and join us gays!

Cheesman Park
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Jillian

Young girl: That's pretty!
Mom: That's the projects.
Young girl: Oh. Well, that's pretty! I wish we could live somewhere like that.

Los Angeles, California