Skinny blonde: So, yeah, my mom is dating this new guy who’s just kind of awkward and nerdy and, well, he’s just really bad at socialism.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Molly and Katy
Office whiner: The weather conditions in here are unacceptable.
Office whiner: This office has been climatically compromised, and I have to go home to be warm, and with full pay.
Manager: Sorry, that’s not an option.
Office whiner: Well, then I deserve hazard pay for working under these conditions.
Manager: Again, I’m sorry, but that’s not going to happen.
Office whiner, agitated: Well, fine! But I don’t like being cold! [Stomps off to cube.]Manager: Neither do I.
Hungover teen girl #1: How was last night? You two have fun?
Hungover teen girl #2: Ohhh, we had a good time. [Suddenly looks confused] Do you think I should have told him about my STDs before we did? We were too drunk to find condoms…
Overheard by: sy ‘philis’ amgems
Little girl when dad hands her balloon: I’ve been waiting all my life for this…
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: Audrey
Student #1: It’s so annoying. Every time I skip class I get an unexcused absence.
Student #2: That’s ridiculous.
Detroit Country Day School
Beverly Hills, Michigan
Overheard by: Jman077
Man: What’s your name?
Man: That reminds of me of a tree… A beautiful tree.
Overheard by: leslie
Hobo drinking coffee to lady passerby: I’d offer you some, but it’s not that good.
I like it black. And sweet. Ten sugers… This tastes like crap!
In front of coffee truck, 135th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kier
Crazy hobo passing out flyers: The animals eat the vegetables, and we are the minerals…
Girl, rejecting flyer: No, thanks. I’ve got one already.
Crazy hobo: You’re a communist transvestite on Mars!
Isla Vista, California
Blonde tanning at pool: Someone set the alarm for five minutes — I’m gonna stare at the sun.
Incoming freshman, about required pre-entry reading: We should not have to be exposed to new ideas we might not agree with.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: yeah, now my brain hurts