Canadia

Professor, during a discussion about Lear’s daughters in King Lear: well, don’t you guys ever lie?
(class stays silent)
Professor: You all lie, especially the girls.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Professor: The dew line -by the way, any Rush fans in here?
(three or four raise hands in a class of 200)
Professor: Only three? That’s a sad state of affairs.

Canadian History Lecture
University of Toronto
Canadia

Geek #1: But I’m a semi-Mac user! I can’t have a beard and be a Mac user!
Geek #2: Yeah, I know what you mean…

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Beardless Mac User

Roommate: I don’t eat leftovers. They make my throat hurt.

Brandon
Manitoba
Canadia

Guy #1: What are you gonna do for your spare?
Guy #2: I don’t know, probably get a sandwich and beat off in the library.

High School
British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Nick

Student: So if I, like, read something in the library and I memorize it, am I, like, stealing it with my mind?
Instructor: Yes. You can steal things with your mind.

Copy Editing Class
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you’re not supposed to say…
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That’s a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.

Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: M

40-something woman on phone: Was that the time when we made cone bras or the time when we shaved our legs with a nail file?

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Spaced-out kid: And I think it was some kind of message in that out-of-body experience. Like, it was my soul trying to tell me that after I finished puking, I should take a shower.
Teenage queer: Your dreams are fucked.

St. Andrew’s College
Aurora
Canadia

Little kid in stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Oh yeah! Yeah!
Little kid in a stroller: Ouaf! Waf! Ggrrr! Ouaf!
Mom: Yeah! That’s it. Yeaaaah!

St Laurent Boulevard
Montréal
Canadia

Overheard by: Augustime