Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad‐ass.
Ottawa
Canadia
Skinny guy with pink hair: I don’t think I could be any more bad‐ass.
Ottawa
Canadia
Teacher, handing out candy to class: They’re really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That’s the best part.
High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Girl #1: So, yeah, when the cops like think you’re kinda drunk or something, they’ll get you to do the ABCs.
Girl #2: What? I can’t even do that when I’m sober! I’ll try now. A, b, c, d, e, f… then j, maybe?
High School Gym Class
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Myr Myr
Man buying condoms, to wife: I don’t need any lubricant with you, honey!
Kingston, Ontario
Canadia
Hipster to friends: They have really cool songs, ’cause you can, like, listen to them.
Hipster friends: (nod and mutter in agreement)
Corner Brook
Newfoundland
Canadia
Hipster guy: I can’t tell if I’m horny or it’s just my sinus infection again…
UBC
Canadia
Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.
Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia
Canadia
Red‐headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red‐headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It’s my best idea yet!
Canada’s Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia
Oblivious lady #1: I just don’t know what to do with all of that junk back there.
Oblivious lady #2: Where, in your trunk?
Oblivious lady #1: Yeah, there’s just so much junk in my trunk!
Guelph, Ontario
