Canadia

Professor to student: Do you mind if I ask if your testicles are still intact?

Lakehead University
Ontario
Canadia

Native American woman to lady dressed as Indian: I find your costume very offensive.
Lady dressed as Indian: No… But I’m part of the Village People [points to girls dressed as cop and construction worker].
Native American woman, after long pause: Oh, well, that’s okay, then.

Calgary Stampede
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Crazy hobo: You have pretty hair, unlike mine. My hair is ugly. You’re ugly, too. [Chick stares.] I gotta go steal some DVDs now. Bye, ladies!

Downtown Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: At least he was honest

Girl on cell: She’s either completely wasted or having a diabetic attack, I’m not sure.

Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

High school student #1: Sir, what movie are we going to be watching?
Teacher: Well, until we get the VCR fixed, we’ll be watching dead air.
High school student #2: What year was that movie made, sir?

Bus
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia

Guy: Nah, Ed, you can’t ever be creepy — you’re Asian.
Ed, indignantly: Dude!
Guy: I mean, unless you’re a ninja–
Passerby: –With a sword!

Algonquin Conference Center
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Guy: What a shitty day. My girlfriend told me I was ‘needy, at best.’

Montreal metro
Canadia

Overheard by: Marie Elaine

Blond boy: Mommy, what do llamas eat?
Mother: Little blond boys.
Blond boy, knowingly: Ohhh…

Waterloo Park
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Kelsey

Customer: I want to return this mouse.
CSR: Okay. May I ask why?
Customer: No, you’ll laugh at me.
CSR: I promise I won’t.
Customer: Every time I move it around it squeaks.

Saskatoon, Saskatchewan
Canadia

Teen girl #1: Are you drinking tonight?
Teen girl #2: I’ve been drunk all day. I was doing shots in class.
Teen girl #3: I have four dollars! I told my mom I was going to McDonald’s. She’s so fucking stupid!

Prince Edward Island
Canadia