Default

Yet the Outlook Is Still Not So Good

Girl to boyfriend: My ass is not a magic 8-ball.

Cornmarket Street
Oxford
England

A Choice Every Man Must Make at Some Point in His Life

Guy #1: Sure, that is something I have always wanted to do… I mean I would rather fuck a girl in the ass than ummmmmm… go skydiving.
Guy #2: Well said, my man.

Baltimore, Maryland

Much Like Right Said Fred

Two-year-old boy: I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt! So sexy!
Eight-year-old brother: He doesn't know what it means, he just does it for attention.

Canadia

Overheard by: Amused Babysitter

If Worse Comes to Worse, We've Rented Some Large Ducks

Airline personnel: We should be boarding the plane at 10:25… If we have a plane.

Airport
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Burt

Unless Those Were Giant Clogged Arteries?

Lady #1: Did you notice how sheer her skirt was? A woman that size should think about what she wears.
Lady #2: I could see her moles.

Theatre
Brisbane
Australia

But Odds Are You Still Aren't Paying Attention

Flight attendant, concluding pre-flight safety spiel: For those of you who paid attention: Thank you. And for those of you who did not: Good luck.

International Airport
Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Eric Dean

Seems to Keep Dad at Bay

Two-year-old girl: Mommy! You have hair on your vagina!

Restroom
Washington, DC

Always a Viable Default Assumption

Woman: Why does it smell like something's burning? Maybe it's my flesh…(sniffs hand) Nope!

Benicia, California

Overheard by: Liz

If I Wish to Maintain My Identity As Mr. Clean

Man on cell: I guess I'm just going to have to scrub my legs.

Lafayette, Louisiana

Overheard by: Kristin

That Photo of the Kitten in the Shoe Was Oddly Arousing, Though

Drunk girl #1: That's the first men's bathroom I've ever been in that didn't have porn mags!
Drunk girl #2: Not ones that you could see!

Lincoln, Nebraska

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