Having Missionary Sex Was Like Going on a Slip-n-Slide

Guy: Remember “sweaty boobs”?
Girl: What?
Guy: Remember he broke up with her because she had sweaty boobs!

Porter Exchange
Somerville, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Dave

Posted on July 27, 2026
Default, Girls, Guys, Insults, Massachusetts, Memory lane, Questions, Rack

And Take Your Side Ponytail With You

Drunk (just thrown out): I bet if had really big boobs you'd let me back in.
Cop working security for the club: No, actually we wouldn't.
Drunk: What, you don't like big boobs?
Cop: Not on dudes.
Drunk: Huh? No, I mean if I was a chick.
Cop: You'd make a really ugly chick.
Drunk: Huh?
Cop: Get the fuck out of here.

Nightclub
Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on July 27, 2026
Arizona, Bars & Clubs, Beauty, Cops, Default, Drunks, Gender issues, Rack

They Should Decide These Cases on a Human-by-Human Basis

Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogins

Posted on July 26, 2026
Animals, California, Default, Feelings, Philosophy

It'll Give Her a Break from the Monotony of Fucking Me

Guy #1: What are you going to get your girlfriend for her birthday?
Guy #2: I got her this sweater she wanted. But I'm also going to get her a dildo in case she doesn't like the sweater. That way she can go fuck herself.

Roosevelt Field Mall
Long Island, New York

Posted on July 25, 2026
Clothes, Default, Gifts, Guys, Malls, Masturbation, New York, Questions

I Like Those Odds

Loud guy on cell: So that's like, what, a 90% ratio of girls who have gotten pregnant right after I dated them? (bursts out laughing)
Girl to friend: Wow, I want him as my next boyfriend!

LSU
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: the things you hear when you go to class early….

Posted on July 25, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Louisiana, Pregnancy, Relationships, Wishes

The Burning Discharge Makes Me Feel Alive

Drunk girl #1: You get to hook up with all the guys walking around clapping to the music.
Drunk girl #2: That's fine! I like the clap!

Beverly, Massachusetts

Overheard by: sam-a-lamb

Posted on July 24, 2026
Default, Drunks, Feelings, Girls, Massachusetts, Sex, Stupidity

Something Like That Is Close to a Man's Heart

Girlfriend: This is your out-of-town toothpaste.
Boyfriend: So?
Girlfriend: Look how fucked up it is!
Boyfriend: Don't start talking shit about my toothpaste!

Shelby, Michigan

Posted on July 24, 2026
Couples, Default, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Insults

Then We Had a Good Laugh and Made Sweet, Passionate Love

Hungover guy: Man, I got so fucked up last night. The last thing I remember was walking into the bathroom. And then this morning I woke up to the sound of someone yelling “Who the fuck are you?” So, naturally, I responded with, “Well, who the fuck are you!?” and then I looked around and said, “Wait… yeah, I might be in the wrong place.” And the guy goes, “Wait, no, I think I might be in the wrong place.”

www.overheardinathens.com