Pilot, after hitting a flock of birds during takeoff: Hey folks,I would just like to announce that we now have fried quail on the lunch menu for this flight.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Pilot, after hitting a flock of birds during takeoff: Hey folks,I would just like to announce that we now have fried quail on the lunch menu for this flight.
Dulles Airport
Washington, DC
Theater professor: Vermont? I'd love to own property there… To grow pot.
Brown University
Eccentric professor, on first day of class: So scientists told us that atoms are the smallest part of matter, right? So we go on believing this for years and years and year. One day, someone breaks open an atom and a whole bunch of other shit comes out! That is what we're going to do with societal views in this class.
Centenary College
Shreveport, Louisiana
Guy to friend: It's like these hand-dryers are powered by asthmatic hamsters!
Queen's University
Ontario
Canadia
Eager student: We gotta library that shit!
UBC
Canadia
Overheard by: Emma M
Roommate: Did you hear that Laquisha is pregnant?
Roommate's friend: What?
Roommate: Yeah, she didn't think she could get pregnant 'cause he nut in her shorts.
Greenwood, South Carolina
Overheard by: Amanda
Student, speaking to prospective students and their parents: Professors are always available for you. In fact, some of them even make you come.
Women's College
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Tired eight-year-old: But I don't wanna see the polar bears!
Even more tired dad: Well, too bad, because they wanna see you!
San Diego Zoo
California
Guy leaving apartment: Man, it is magnificently orgasmic out. I could blow a load in my pants right now.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Cryptic
