Being in the Mafia Is a 24/7 Job

College girl: And then I told him “I have to get back to my rats…”

University of Florida

Overheard by: …what the heck?

Posted on June 30, 2012
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No Shit!

Middle school girl: Oh, god! I feel like I just had…
High school girl: A colonoscopy?

Lock Haven, Pennsylvania

Posted on June 30, 2012
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At Least Children Are Honest

One year old: (cries and yells loudly)
Teacher: You're going to wake up all my friends. That'll make me sad. Do you want me to cry?
One year old: (pauses, nods emphatically)

Preschool, Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on June 30, 2012
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Yeah, My Gynecologist Said the Same Thing.

Girl to another: There's a rich Canadian somewhere deep inside you. You need to let it out.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on June 27, 2012
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Technically, Isn't the “Bitch” the One Who Gets Spanked?

Eleven-year-old greeting another: Spank me, bitch!

Surbiton
England

Overheard by: What has the world come to?

Posted on June 5, 2012
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And You Know How You Have a Dog Sit on It to Keep It Warm?

Waitress: Yeah, we think we know why it tasted funny. You know how you defrost, then refreeze, the defrost and then cook seafood?
Group of diners: (blank stare)
Waitress: Yeah, we think it was that.
Group of diners: What?

Victoria
Australia