Roommate #1, holding up plastic bag with crumpled up bits of paper in it: Hey, do you know who this belongs to?
Roommate #2: Oh, that's Willie's. It's the New Testament.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: Someone who loves their roommates

Hipster: You know you're in a bad neighbourhood when a patron of your garage sale asks, “is this bulletproof?” in all seriousness while picking up a mid-80s vest with neoprene accents.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Marty

Girl to friend, frantically studying for exam: I locked myself in my room for five hours.
Friend: Yeah, I ate cheese sticks and watched Hannah Montana for three hours.

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Dukie

Loud flamboyant gay man on cell: Yeah! I, like, just changed my cell phone! Yeah, I didn't even have to pay for it! No, I'm going to pay the guy back with a blowjob.

Eureka, California

Exasperated five-year-old to younger sister throwing temper tantrum: You would be a lot less annoying if you were a boy.

Little Rock, Arkansas

Overheard by: Ain't that the truth

Hot girl: Oh, he's cute.
(one drink later, and him popping his collar)
Hot girl: Oh my god! He just got… No, ew! I have never had alcohol make a guy ugly before.

Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: should have been drunk

Child: Mum, I lost my tooth.
Mother: There's always something with you!

Galleria
Morley
Western Australia

Overheard by: Sara Bell

Teacher: When you think of the west, what do you think of?
Student #1: Chinese people!
Student #2: Burritos!

New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: MM

Girl #1: Well, he lost his teeth at a Tom Petty concert.
Girl #2: Oh, like was he in a fight and they got punched out?
Girl #1: Oh no, he had taken them out so he could smoke out of a bong, and then he forgot where he left them…

Brookline, Massachusetts

Girl #1: Do you watch American Idol?
Girl #2: No, I don't have a tv.
Girl #3: Ohmigod, what do you sit and look at?

Ottawa
Canadia