Student to another: She's got the biggest penis in the psych ward!

George Mason University
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: Katie

Black guy: Yeah, so I have to be Jewish for two more years…

Fairleigh Dickinson University
New Jersey

Overheard by: CS

Dad, pushing shopping cart: What should we get? Some more carrots?
Kindergarten son: Yeah!
Dad, pushing shopping cart: Some more corn?
Kindergarten son: No! You'll die!

San Diego, California

Typical suburb high schooler: Oh my god. Sarah Palin is so annoying. She makes me want to shoot myself.
Typical suburb highschooler friend: Wait, does she go to our school?

Suburbs
Chicago, Illinois

20-something girl #1: Wouldn't it be great if that's how you knew a guy was gay–because he cums glitter.
20-something girl #2: Haha, yeah–I'm going out tonight–cum on my face!

London
England

Overheard by: Just trying to buy some art supplies

Little boy at monkey exhibit: Whoa! Look at its face!
Slightly older sister: That's his butt!

Baltimore Zoo
Baltimore, Maryland

Teacher: We're going to be watching a movie in Spanish, with English subtitles.
(scrolls to 'English for the hearing impaired')
Student: Wait! Won't that just be, like, dots?

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Professor: So now the internet is used for visual works!
Student: And lolcatz.
Professor: Who's Llowell Katz?

Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: Janie

Sad barfly: I'm not sure which I liked less, being ripped off by an indian or by a nun.

Edinburgh
Scotland

Girl in dorm hallway: So many condoms, not enough candy!

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam. the blind