Girl: Your girlfriend's nice, but she's a bitch.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Hobo, stumbling onto train: You know, everybody's just too scared to tell white people the truth! But I'ma tell 'em the truth! White people ain't white… they pink!

Manhattan, New York

English professor, discussing fairy tales: Think of The Beauty and the Beast. You can't have talking clocks, candelabra, or teacups. And if I'm really ruining your day, there's no Santa, either.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: …wait a minute, what??

Hobo to group of teens in front of drugstore: If you can guess what my favorite band is, I'll give you this dollar. It starts with an “l”.
Teen boy: Um, Led Zeppelin?
Hobo, frustrated and throwing the money at them: Fuck you, man! Fuck you!
Drugstore manager, coming out of drugstore, to teens: Did you just throw something at this man?
Teen girl #1: No, he threw something at us.
Teen girl #2: He told us he'd give us a dollar if we guessed the name of his favorite band. It starts with an “l”.
Drugstore manager: Led Zeppelin?
Hobo: Fuck you, man!

Studio City, California

Overheard by: Urz

Girl #1: Owww!!
Girl #2: What? What!?
Girl #1: Something hit me!
Girl #2: Oh, was it the bible?

Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Savannah

Woman: She can't work, she has a bladder problem. It leaks.
Man: Well, she should just get a job where she sits down all day.

Nashville, Tennessee

10-year-old boy: So I went over to my neighbor's house, but she chased me around with a big stick.
10-year-old friend: You're a real ladies' man.

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Alex

Barista #1, packing a box of just-glazed donuts: Ew, they're all slimy.
Barista #2: Yeah, all that glaze.
Barista #1: It's like they're covered in semen.
(barista #2 giggles)
Barista #1: Seriously. It's like I'm cleaning up after an orgy on the streets of Louyang. I'm too gay for this shit!

Chesapeake, Virginia

Old man at bank counter: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Erm… Sorry?
Old man: I'd like to cash this cheque for £5, 6 shillings and 9 pence.
20-something female cashier: Sir… This cheque was written in 1958.
Old man: I'm 96 years old! I just want to cash my cheque.
20-something female cashier: I appreciate that sir, but the pound has been decimal for around 40 years now… It's 2012. This is in pre-decimal currency… I don't know if we can cash it.
Old man: I'm 96, I don't need any hassle! I want to see the manager!
Bank manager, coming over: Is there a problem, sir? (cashier explains situation) Ah… Right… Erm… Ok. (pause) Well, if you'd like to step this way sir, we'll see if we can deal with this over a cup of tea.
Old man, disappearing into office with manager: I'm 96! I fought in World War II and you tell me I can't cash a bloody cheque!?

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Psychology professor, introducing himself: I could pull down my pants and show you my tattoo on my ass if you really wanted to get to know me.
Student: What is it?
Psychology professor: It's the Green Bay Packers symbol, the 'g.'
Students: (giggles)
Psychology professor: Yeah, my wife calls it my g-spot.

Appleton, Wisconsin

Overheard by: rustybeard