20-something woman: It's like that saying. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably a duck that gave you herpes.

Germantown, Maryland

Overheard by: Nic

Father: So what's your school play about?
Very young daughter: Oh, not much… Just Jesus.

Bristol
England

Soccer mom, three days before Christmas: I'm just so stressed that I think Scientology may be the answer.

Shopping Center
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: dezzy_dez

Middle-aged hunter: See! He just further proved my point that I've never met a lennie that wasn't retarded!

Palmer, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

College freshman: If he doesn't come to Chuck E. Cheese with us, I'm gonna punch him in the groin! (rest of group nods in agreement)

Rockland County, New York

Overheard by: Trying to study

Guy to girl: Sometimes I wish I was bisexual. I'd imagine it'd make my life much easier, somehow.
Girl: Yeah. For one thing, it would kinda justify your deliberately monochrome wardrobe.

Western Australia

Overheard by: He was wearing a white top with black pants.

Middle aged bald guy with ponytail: I'm just not sure I could buy my kid a giant eyeball.

Toys R Us
Christiana, Delaware

Overheard by: Oh dear.

Guy to another, coming out of bar: Dude, seriously! The best time to drive drunk is when it's snowing. You can totally hit a tree and get away with it!

Chicago, Illinois

Middle aged woman to two others: I love to read. I mean, not like books or anything, you know…

The Gap
Calhoun, Georgia

Overheard by: Elizabeth

Little boy: You missed it!
Mother: What?
Little boy: You missed the reason for living!
Mother: I don't have time for this, we have to get to the antiques shop.
Little boy, crying: But the sparkly halo thing!

Pearl Street Mall
Boulder, Colorado

Overheard by: I guess I missed it too