Teacher: Humans are the only animals that like to actively burn things… except for dragons.

Santa Susana High School
Simi Valley, California

Senior girl to teacher: What was Hitler's last name?

Comsewogue High School
Long Island, New York

Crazy, heavily accented, extremely enthusiastic African man: Diddy Riese is disgustingly delicious. It makes me want to cut down a tree, gauge out a boat, row back to Africa, and slap my mother hard!

Westwood, California

Overheard by: LOL Student

College girl to college boy: I'd be the only one there in an argyle straight jacket! How cute would that be?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/463269059/youd-be-too-medicated-to-notice.html

Overheard by: dk.

Pregnant girl: Did you bring your money?
Unpregnant girl: Aww crap, I forgot.
Pregnant girl: You forget everything.
Unpregnant girl: Yeah, but I don't forget condoms.

University Park Mall
Indiana

20-something woman to 20-something man: We could never sit by each other in church because we would get the church giggles.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/460148006/and-grandma-would-scold-you.html

Overheard by: Stu

Girl #1 in consulting firm business suit: Why didn't you say anything?
Girl #2 in consulting firm business suit: Well, I couldn't just tell her she looked like a fucking crack ho.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/11/youre-bad-friend.html

Overheard by: rosslyn

Stoned girl: Do you think fish… know they're wet?

Australia

Biology professor: So I guess the lesson here is to not eat the brains of cows with mad cow disease… or the brains of mentally ill individuals.

University of California

Overheard by: Kyle

Woman: I got a ten year old.
Saleslady, holding up a shirt: Okay, how about this?
Woman: No, she's big. She's got some junk in her trunk.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/463269060/is-the-trunk-upsidedown.html

Overheard by: huh.