College guy #1: We should get wasted.
College guy #2: We should wasted and go to the dining hall.
College guy #1: We should get wasted, go to the dining hall, and then throw-up.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Coffee shop guy: If you go to Norway, you're going to be competing with guys who like, have their facial hair shaped like windmills and shit!
Friend: (mumbles)
Coffee shop guy: The only person in the world is not a cloud of polygons.

Austin, Texas

Girl #1: Are you dressing up for Halloween this year?
Girl #2: Yeah, we're going as whore people.
Girl #1: What? “Whore people”?! So just really slutty?
Girl #2: No, like characters from horror movies.

London
Canadia

College guy to friend: I used to date this girl who I thought was really pretty, but it turned out to just be make up. I went to her house one time and saw a picture of her without make up on and I thought 'daaaaaamn! That is an ugly bitch!'

De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl is ready to swear off all men after hearing that

Woman to friend in restaurant booth: I'd like to have more of a community, but when I tell people I'm a witch…
Friend: I never think of you as a witch.

Decatur, Georgia

Young daughter: Why do you hate me?!
Mother: No particular reason.

Denver, Colorado

Annoyed woman on cell: First of all, yetis aren't real… they're a fictional animal! And even if they were real, I don't think you could milk them.

Goodwill
Bangor, Maine

Dollar general counter girl: How are you doing today?
Customer: I'm shopping at a dollar store. For groceries. With my last four dollars. Things have been much fucking better.

Redford, Michigan

Overheard by: Rev

Young lady #1 chatting while serving brunch behind counter: What are you getting for graduation?
Young lady #2: My mother promised to give me a watch if I finish high school, unless I get married or knocked up before that.

Bethel, Connecticut

Trashed girl with valley accent to random guy: I'm so drunk right now…
Random guy: (silence)
Trashed girl with valley accent: I'm such a slut when I'm drunk! (giggles)
(random guy's face lights up)

Bourbon St
New Orleans, Louisiana

Overheard by: Jordan