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Annoyingly talkative woman: I got my pumpkin t-shirt at Old Navy eight years ago. I wear it every year. But I've only worn it… eight times!

Commuter Train
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Dad to little girl sitting on railing, watching sea lions: You fall down, that's it. If you fall down, I'm not helping you. (pause) And the sea lion's gonna eat you.

Pier 39
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Paulo

Guy #1: (mumbles)
Guy #2: Well, maybe you need to be more white.
Guy #1: What are you talking about? I'm Mexican, you're white!
(pause)
Guy #2: Dude, you would make the best politician.

Bathroom, UC Santa Cruz
California

Woman on cell outside Target store: And then he'll pee on your face!

San Jose, California

Girl, looking at a bag of chips: How about these?
Friend checking for price: They're three dollars.
Girl, putting back the bag of chips: Dayuuummm! We don't need anything that fancy!

Grocery Store
Michigan

Overheard by: just buying some salsa.

Woman to husband: Honey, can you go to the bathroom so the seat is warm when I use it?

Tucson, Arizona

Gender studies professor: Some people are better at oral than others…

College
Los Angeles, California

Server: We need a button on the computer for this…
Boss man: For what?
Server: Balls on your face.

Midlothian, Virginia

Overheard by: bec-uhh

Girl #1: You can't save every animal in the world.
Girl #2: You don't think you could save every animal in the world? We could go to the rain forest!
Girl #3: I want to go to the rain forest and save the monkeys and Chihuahuas!

Merced, California

Teen girl eating Fantasy Bar brownie: You want some of my Fantasy Bar?
Male friend, suddenly paying attention: What? Heck yes, it's about time!

Union Station
Washington, DC