13-year-old girl: Let's go to the bathroom, I need to find Mr Daniels*.

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Kelly

Tall boy: Vaginas are beautiful. When god made the vagina he was making art. When he was making the penis he just took two lumps of clay and stuck them together.

Campbell High School
Smyrna, Georgia

20-something girl, in floods of tears at pub table: He's a fucking bastard! I hate him!
Friend #1: What happened?
20-something girl: I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!
Friend #2: Babes, did he cheat on you?
20-something girl, crying: No! He made me dinner…
(friend #1 and friend #2 exchange puzzled look)
Friend #2: So?
20-something girl: He told me it was a beef stew but it wasn't. It was a fucking bunny rabbit! How could he do that?! He knows how much I love bunnies!

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Mother: Look out the window, there's the Sydney opera house!
Little boy: Oh wow!
Mother: And look, there's the Sydney harbor bridge!
Little boy: Oh wow, oh wow!
(pause)
Little boy: Wait, are we going to Sydney?
Mother: Yes, honey, we'll be landing soon.
Little boy, screaming: But you know I hate Sydney!

Flight to Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Row 14, seat F

Guy: I'm going to bake you a pie.
Girl: You're going to bake me a pie? You?
Guy: Yeah!
Girl, rolling eyes: Well, eat half and fuck the other, because you ain't getting in these panties.
(five minutes later)
Girl: What kind of pie?

Restaurant
Manhattan, New York

Girl #1: Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up and are just like, “ugh, I'm so desperate for some b-12”?
Girl #2: Ugh, yeah.
Girl #1: Yeah, that was me yesterday. So I bought some. (pulls bottle of vitamin b-12 from her purse)

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Girl to guy, after long moment of intense pondering: Yeah, I think Chinese accents are definitely funnier than mental illness.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Twinla Archnemekiss

Dude to friend, entering bar: Don't worry about a thing. We'll get you drunk, get you laid, and get you on a Fung Wah bus tomorrow morning.

Near Boston University Dorms
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Brian

Loud guy: It's not even that I was bitten by zombies; it's that I fucking hate undercooked cauliflower.

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Gangster teen #1: Man, why it gotta be so cold?
Gangster teen #2: Yeah, what's up with that, yo? We black, we supposed to conduct heat or some shit.

Millersville, Maryland