Guy #1: What are those, zucchini?
Guy #2, with sandwich: No, they’re cucumbers.
Girl: Oh please, they’re like the same thing.
Guy #2: No, they’re totally different. Not every phallic‐shaped green vegetable is the same thing.
Girl (pauses): Why does everything have to be about penises with you?
San Diego, California
Overheard by: i just came here to clean the air ducts