Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Brooke
Girl on cell: Are you tryin' to say it's my fault she kept thinking she was pregnant every Thursday?
Berkeley, California
20-something girl (stocking groceries): Oh! I remember when my mom used to make it for me. It was delicious. She made it while I was pregnant… I'd eat it and every morning I'd throw it all back up. It was still delicious coming back up!
Norwalk, California
Overheard by: who wishes he hadn't heard it while grocery shopping
Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?
Fairfax, California
Girl #1: So then my mom turns to me and says “You're waiting till marriage before you have sex? What if it's really bad sex?”
Girl #2: If you really love the person it won't be bad.
Girl #1: My thinking exactly! But then my sister pipes up “She can just have an affair for good sex… like you, mom!”
Escondido, California
Professor to suits: Did you watch the news last night? Apparently Dumbledore's gay now!
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: Passing Biker
Hipster girl: I know a couple people who have to wear diapers when they drink!
Old Tavern Bar & Grill
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: kat
Woman in suede coat with shearling trim: They put greater value on a human life than on an animal's. Terrible.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Poogins
Female office worker: Once I was at this club and there was a mirror across from me. Not only did I walk into it and break it accidentally, but before I did it, I remember looking at myself and saying, “Who is this bitch?” and then, crash. I talked shit about myself and then I broke the mirror.
Walnut Creek, California
Overheard by: trose
Girl #1: It's just that I feel like Amazon is judging me.
Girl #2: Why?
Girl #1: I bought one gay erotica book and now it wants me to buy Japanese porn.
Starbucks
Ukiah, California
