Marine: So, things were going really well until he blew the tranny.

Twentynine Palms, California

Hobo, pointing to passerby: God is going to cum all over your face!

Westwood Village
Los Angeles, California

Bisexual girl: So, you wanna go out some time?
Chick: Um, I don’t swing that way when I’m sober.

Cupertino High School
Cupertino, California

Dock worker #1: Well, personally, I prefer a nice, stiff rod.
Dock worker #2: Really, a stiff one?
Dock worker #3: I’ve got a stiff rod for you, motherfucker.
Dock worker #1: We’re talking about bass fishing here, asshole.

Tracy, California

Overheard by: Ken Lane

Chick: What’s your background?
Girl with laptop: … Uh, I’m part Korean…
Chick: No, I meant on your computer.

Idyllwild, California

Chick to friend: Seriously, smell my face!

University Village
Riverside, California

60-ish woman looking in door: I thought you had to have some hooters to be able to work at one.

Burbank, California

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!

Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Young suit: I need to get a new BlackBerry. I dropped my old one in a urinal. Well, I was wearing lederhosen, and they don’t have pockets.

San Jose Airport

Overheard by: Keren