Guys

Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm…
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: Fuck you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!

Starbucks
Westminster, Colorado

Hipster girl: I wasn't invited to the wedding but maybe I'll go anyway. I could be your date. Who knows, maybe you'll even score.
Guy: Shit, all I have to do is give you two vodka sodas and point you to a pool and I'll score. Easy.
Hipster girl: One time that happened. One time.

Marta Train
Atlanta, Georgia

30-something guy on cell: …and they don't even care about all my Kung fu skills!

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/its-like-proficiency-in-excel-and.html

Overheard by: Ian

Little boy, running and screaming down the aisle: I…love…diet…Coke!

Borders
Columbia, Maryland

Overheard by: Liz

Guy #1, standing in front of classroom: So he walked up to me and was like, “Dude, do you want a donut?” and of course I was like, “yeah.”
Guy #2: Well, yeah. I love donuts too.
Guy #1: So then he whips out this trash bag and it's filled to the top with donuts. So I took this one off the top and started eating it, and then I realized, dude! Where the hell did you get a trash bag full of donuts?
Guy #2: Woah. Where'd he go?!

Hanover, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Emmeline

Teen guy #1: Who comes to a concert to make out?
Teen guy #2: Uh, anyone with a significant other.
Teen guy #1: If a girl will make out with you at a concert, then she's down for anything. Like she'd totally take it up the butt.

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: not so much

Teen girl: I hate you.
Teen guy: You hate me? Nice. Real mature… (pause) Oh my god! An Elmo lunchbox!

Officeworks
Bendigo
Australia

Overheard by: ColdSpiral

Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.

McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia

50-something mom: It was the first time I've ever heard Brian* call uncle Ned* a prick!
20-something son: Mom!
50-something mom: I don't even know what that is, a prick.
20-something son: Don't worry about it.
50-something mom: Well, Brian's right. Ned is a prick, whatever that is.

Woodbridge, Virginia

Overheard by: Cols

Little boy (jumping off fire truck on a giant spring): Let's go to wienerland!

Miami, Florida