Guys

Guy #1: You don’t play rep basketball!
Guy #2: Yes, I do!
Guy #1: Okay, then why didn’t I see you play?
Guy #2: I can’t — I pulled my Achilles tentacle!

Phys Ed class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Dude #1: Let’s go somewhere else.
Dude #2: Why?
Dude #1: I’ve seen the midget. I’ve drunk his juice.
Dude #2: Yeah…

Casey’s, South Side
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Man to friend: Let’s play the handicapped game — paralyzed, or just lazy?

Epcot Park, Disney World
Orlando, Florida

Dude: Have you ever masturbated?
Chick: Uh… No…
Dude: Seriously? To me that’s like… like standing in front of a house of cards for, like, 18 years and just never being like, ‘I’m going to tip that shit over.’

Eugene, Oregon

Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…

http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/04/what-why-ya-lookin-at-me-like-that.html

Girl to guy: You get the starch, condoms and Red Bull. I will get the rest.

Austin, Texas

Dude: I have the best idea for a party — dress as your favorite crime!

http://overheardatbrown.blogspot.com/2006/09/possibilities-are-endless.html

Overheard by: A white collar criminal

Man jumping out of port-a-potty like a gymnast: … And he sticks the landing!

Campground
Connecticut

Overheard by: only at DRAM

Man to another: Remember when we first started? We swung both ways.

http://www.overheardinchtown.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: bp

Guy #1: Oh, sorry, man. I forgot to tell you about it… If you were on Facebook, I would have invited you.
Guy #2, pissed: … I live two doors down from you!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/