Guys

Guy #1: You’re beautiful… you’re beautiful.
Guy #2: No… but I’m not fuckable beautiful!

University of California, San Diego

Overheard by: whoa mango

Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!

Davis, California

Overheard by: Liz

Guy: Well, do you have lots of unprotected sex with anonymous men?
Girl: I don’t think so.
Guy: (pause) Well, you’re probably safe then.

Southern Oregon University

Overheard by: Kayli

Billy Mays Has No Personal Life

Man to woman: When was the last time you waxed your saddle?

Caltrain, San Francisco to Palo Alto

Overheard by: Sarks

Half-drunk tourist girl: You’re lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I’m from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!

Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: annikee

Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.

PETCO Park
San Diego, California

20-something guy with ridiculous hair cut: Like, I’m not saying that mother earth isn’t my priority, because like she totally is, I’m just saying that I’m not going to like let her run my life. At the end of the day.

8th & Chestnut
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Woman: …and Scarlett Johansson is in it.
Husband: Really? Okay, let’s go.
Woman (to ticket seller): Oh, now he’ll watch it.
(they enter the theater)
Husband: And you said sex too, right?

Movie Theater
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.

Clemson, South Carolina