Shabby guy to friend: … So now I have to go appease all of these pregnant people…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Kirsten
Shabby guy to friend: … So now I have to go appease all of these pregnant people…
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Kirsten
Party host: Man, it took me three weeks to clean the gorilla suit after the wedding…
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Paul
Man, about preteen: She was being such a good penguin that I wished that I had some extra fish to give her.
Delaware
20-something guy: I am not looking forward to this party we’re hosting. It?s going to be a bunch of underage frat boys, an orthodox Jew, and some crazy chick I used to fuck.
Ames, Iowa
Guy to room: If I’m a feminist, do I have to hate men?
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: imnotinmedskool
Guy: Dude, I’ll hook you up. My wife is hot, but her friends are hotter.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Boy #1: I’d never want to be a gynecologist. You’d get so sick of that you’d never want to see one.
Boy #2: Gynos put Vicks under their nose so they don’t have to smell it all day.
Boy #3: You are both nasty.
Boy #4: Stop this conversation. My mom is is the next room.
New Jersey
Dude: Oh, great. Now I can be the asshole with a unibrow.
Denny’s
Portland, Maine
Overheard by: aimc
Guy #1: Hey, brother, can I ask you something? What is text messaging?
Guy #2: You don’t know what that is?
Guy #1: No… I was at this club the other night, and this fly young ho gave me digits and asked me to text her.
Guy #2: Damn, brother, you’re gonna have to get your nephew to teach you texting. It’s almost like e-mail, but on your cell phone. It has reply — now or later, and forward, if you wanna send it on to a brother.
Guy #1: I guess. I never heard of it before.
Guy #2: Yeah, nigga, if you wanna kick it with these young bitches you gotta learn to text.
Guy #1: How times have changed.
Guy #2: I know it, brother… Next thing you know, they’re gonna be textin’ you in bed. Text you their moans and shit. It is going to be the downfall of making love.
Restaurant, Long Island Marriott
New York
Overheard by: Stephen
Guy: I’m not really like a saucy, creamy guy.
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/
Overheard by: the ear
