Man on cell: So I told the guy, “Your current girlfriend is my wife.”
Mall
Savannah, Georgia
Man on cell: So I told the guy, “Your current girlfriend is my wife.”
Mall
Savannah, Georgia
(guy grabs girl's hand and licks cotton candy off her finger and licks finger)
Girl: Be careful, you don't where these fingers have been.
Guy: Well, I know last night they were in your vagina.
Girl: Shhh! People can hear you!
Guy: No one's even listening to us!
San Diego, California
Dude #1: So yeah, Kayla* got me kicked off the ski trip because I gave her ten bucks to buy some food. And she bought scissors. Fucking scissors. And apparently I'm not stable enough to have scissors and they think I'll fucking stab someone with them. And she gave me back $2.48 in change. The scissors were from the fucking dollar store. They couldn't have been that expensive. Next time she sits on my lap in math class I'm gonna call her a pick-pocket.
Dude #2: Okay, great story. Now shut the fuck up. I missed half the fucking dialogue of Cloverfield.
West Edmonton Mall
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Trying to watch Cloverfield
(outside the university library)
Guy #1: So you scored.
Guy #2: And I know the holocaust inside and out.
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Enthusiastic guy: I mean, the only thing I hated worse than the word “gist” was eating squash and touching cotton balls.
Seattle, Washington
Guy about stripper girlfriend: I asked her to get STD tested, but she said she was almost done with her chlamydia medication, so it's all good.
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: C.D.
Police officer: So that's when they started pulling baseball bats out of their pants?
Guy: Yeah, baseball bats and machetes!
Tysons Corner
Fairfax County, Virginia
Overheard by: Jack
Guy to date: She cheated on me, so I dumped her. Then I cheated on her and two weeks later we were back together.
Freehold, New Jersey
