Overheard in Los Angeles

30-year-old: I will be somebody’s cum bucket, but I won’t be anybody’s cum dumpster!


Pretty goth chick: Do you think if I call him up and ask him to come over and watch porn and fuck, he’ll come?
Queer friend: Probably, but only if you call after 10. It’s six — wait until dark.
Pretty goth chick: Yeah, you’re right.


DMT vet: When you see the Yeti in the forest, you have to take the Buddhist approach and ask him, ‘Why are you here? And what do you have to teach me?’


Overheard by:

Woman in miniskirt: I’m a teacher, yo! Wooo! I’m a teacher! [Starts grinding against the wall.]

Hollywood Canteen