Jobs & Careers

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Professor: When thinking about a case, you have to start by listing all the parties. You go, “We are the plaintiffs, the mighty, mighty plaintiffs…”

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB

Black teen employee to teen girl employee: Some of these people, they want to get to know you and make a connection, and I’m like, “man, I don’t want to be your friend, I just want to give you a towel.”

Marino Center
Boston, Massachusetts

Professor: … But then he said that maybe drag isn’t a great idea before you’re tenured.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

30‐something gay man to friend: I don’t know if he is gay or not, but he worked at Starbucks and he had a lisp.

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Peter Piper

Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That’s fantastic!

City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: entertained witness

Mother: Hey, you could get a job at Build‐A‐Bear.
Exasperated daughter: No I couldn’t, they have to wear khaki pants and denim shirts.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/324349984/its-practically-oppression.html

Overheard by: what?s wrong with that?

Professor, throwing exams on desk the day after taking them: I graded all of these. I want applause.
(class applauds)

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Friend #1: Now all we need is a transvestite cop.
Friend #2: Don’t worry, we have Katie!

Los Angeles, California

Neighbor, talking about busy husband: Yeah, he may take Monday off just to decompose.

Burke, Virginia

Overheard by: Jimmy C