Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn’t learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.
Kokomo’s
Linglestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: M.J.M.
Girl: Do you know what a pearl necklace is?
Woman: I didn’t learn about any of that shit until I worked on the Senate floor.
Kokomo’s
Linglestown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: M.J.M.
Teen girl #1: Your dad could be a plumber because of his moustache.
Teen girl #2: My dad doesn’t have a moustache.
Teen girl #1: Well I wish he did.
Teen girl #2: Too bad, bitch!
North Bay
Ontario
Canadia
Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]
Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Woman: I had this brother who, like, wanted to be spy so he could speak like speak ten different languages and go on top secret missions and crap like that. Now he works in a tile factory.
Borders
Sunnyvale, California
Woman on cell in bathroom stall: Well, I told them she’s only available for parties. She’s not just gonna come over and take her clothes off for anybody!
Rehm Pool
Oak Park, Illinois
Overheard by: A Lifeguard
Crazy lady wearing only a bra: Well, my daddy says we should take my show on the road. I’m a singer, you know. I’m famous in Eastern Europe.
Dumbfounded drunk girls: Uh-huh… Totally.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Kari Nott
Guy #1: If I make a lot of money, I’m gonna hire a dwarf to stand on a stool and help me wash in the shower.
Guy #2: Why couldn’t you get a full-sized woman to do that?
Nearby chick: I hope neither of you ever make any money.
Stanford, Connecticut
Old man: … So I tell her, ‘Hey, it’s healthier than smoking, drinking… banging chicks…’ [Old women laugh.] But I could always mix the photography with the banging chicks and make some money on the side…
Panera Bread
Michigan
Overheard by: CDG
First grade girl: It’s my job to inform everyone about horse dinkers.
Johnstown, Pennsylvania
Poor college kid #1: So, you used to break into cars?
Poor college kid #2: Yeah.
Poor college kid #1: How was that?
Rochester, New York
