Professor to student: Do you mind if I ask if your testicles are still intact?
Lakehead University
Ontario
Canadia
Professor to student: Do you mind if I ask if your testicles are still intact?
Lakehead University
Ontario
Canadia
Professor: Who can tell me the difference between a birch tree and a beech tree?
Student: A beech tree’s got lighter bark.
Professor: But otherwise there’s no difference?
Student: I dunno ’bout the leaves or anything, but when you buy furniture from IKEA, beech wood’s always lighter.
Professor: But could you identify a birch tree from a beech tree if you saw one on campus?
Student: If I cut it down, maybe.
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/
Overheard by:
Teacher, reading paper by student #1: ‘I’m not living my life yet.’ Then whose life are you living?
Student #1, pointing to student #2: His.
Mount Abraham Union High School
Bristol, Vermont
High school student #1: Sir, what movie are we going to be watching?
Teacher: Well, until we get the VCR fixed, we’ll be watching dead air.
High school student #2: What year was that movie made, sir?
Bus
Windsor, Ontario
Canadia
Religion professor: Why did Jesus die?
Student: Loss of blood?
College of Charleston
South Carolina
TA: You’ll need a watch to keep track of how long your stories are.
Sorostitute: I have one!
TA: Is it analog or digital?
Sorosititute, after looking at watch for a few seconds: … It has diamonds!
Broadcasting Journalism lab, University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Don’t rush for HER sorority
Student: Are breasts on the exam?
Professor: No, no, they’re not. Not because I don’t like breasts… I do… They’re just not on the exam.
Biology 102, Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Professor: So, say that you’ve got Brad Pitt… And Angelina got eaten by a giant cobra. And it’s maybe a year later and Brad’s kind of eyeing Jen, and she’s eyeing Vince, and maybe he has an affair with Claire Danes. And now Brad asks you to write an elegy for Angelina. What problems might you run into?
Medieval Literature class
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Chick, responding to example question: You can’t randomly choose which woman gets an abortion and which doesn’t!
Professor: Why not?
Chick: Because some women do want to give up their babies!
Professor: I don’t care! I’m a statistician!
Statistics class, Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel
Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we’re going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn’t that, like, over the phone?
Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture
