Teachers

Professor: No drinking and driving this weekend! No drugs! …and no babies.

Ball State University
Muncie, Indiana

Overheard by: Sara

History teacher, reading from worksheet: ‘The Constitution places restrictions on the powers of the states. Name one.‘
Student: Maryland?

Cresson, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Teacher, handing out candy to class: They’re really sweet.
Student #1: And they make the roof of your mouth bleed.
Student #2: That’s the best part.

High School
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

White, middle aged music professor: I don’t do sevenths. Homie don’t play that.

Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Claire

English professor: Outer space is occupied by evil orientals.

Marymount University
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Sarah Yvonne

Irritated English professor: I think I’m just going to change all my paper assignments to “create an inscrutable utterance.”

Ursinus College
Pennsylvania

Professor: And these cultural anthropologists have discovered many different aspects of law in the countries they live in that differ to ours.
(pause)
Older student: Did you know that you can’t own pygmies?

The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: Katie

Psych professor: I think it’s a usable vagina.

University of Pennsylvania
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I’d use it

Teacher: So, women are in fact always…what?
Student: Wrong?

Classroom
Denmark

Overheard by: Allan Loff Jakobsen

Professor: When thinking about a case, you have to start by listing all the parties. You go, “We are the plaintiffs, the mighty, mighty plaintiffs…”

Law School
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: MaggieB