Biology professor: No, penises don’t just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: Chicken

Professor: Today we’re going to be synthesizing a 6,6 nylon molecule. Who can tell me where the sixes come from?
Student: The devil!
Professor: Very good. Note the dreaded mark of the polymer beast.

Chemistry lab, Concord University
Athens, West Virginia

Overheard by: I’m also failing chemistry

Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.

Community college
North Carolina

Overheard by: First row fanboy

Professor: I guess one lesson we can take from this book is to never slap a Chinese warlord.

20th Century World Novel class, Mississippi State University

Overheard by: blondie

Professor: It’s like she said — what’s your name again?
Girl: Alandra.
Professor: Alandra. Okay, I’m going to try and remember that.
Girl: It’s easy. Alandra. Just think of ‘a laundromat.’


Overheard by:

Professor, as it snows out of season: If I wanted to see white powder this time of year, I’d buy some fucking cocaine! Not that I’ve ever bought drugs… But if I did, the statute of limitations has long passed… Okay, let’s talk about bribery!


Overheard by: legal lush

Professor: Okay, this appears to be advertising for a brand of malt liquor. Who here drinks malt liquor?
Only black guy in class: Me!
Professor, laughing: Okay, Martin drinks malt liquor.
Black guy: Brothers drink malt liquor!
Professor, laughing: That’s right, brothers drink malt liquor!

Anthropology class, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Student: Man! Question number four on that exam? The one about chickens was so hard… It took me forever.
Teacher: Well, it seemed tricky, but the problem was really pretty straightforward. It just involved birds instead of mammals.
Student: … Chickens are birds?

Bloomington, Indiana

Professor: Well, Miss Two-L, I am going to need a better legal argument than, ‘It seems really shady,’ but that’s a good start.


Overheard by: kks

Student: The trophoblast looks like a teething ring!
Sex ed teacher: Yes. It looks like a teething ring, but it's not.

UW Rock County
Janesville, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Akuaku