TA: You’ll need a watch to keep track of how long your stories are.
Sorostitute: I have one!
TA: Is it analog or digital?
Sorosititute, after looking at watch for a few seconds: … It has diamonds!
Broadcasting Journalism lab, University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Don’t rush for HER sorority
Student: Are breasts on the exam?
Professor: No, no, they’re not. Not because I don’t like breasts… I do… They’re just not on the exam.
Biology 102, Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: Marina
Professor: So, say that you’ve got Brad Pitt… And Angelina got eaten by a giant cobra. And it’s maybe a year later and Brad’s kind of eyeing Jen, and she’s eyeing Vince, and maybe he has an affair with Claire Danes. And now Brad asks you to write an elegy for Angelina. What problems might you run into?
Medieval Literature class
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Chick, responding to example question: You can’t randomly choose which woman gets an abortion and which doesn’t!
Professor: Why not?
Chick: Because some women do want to give up their babies!
Professor: I don’t care! I’m a statistician!
Statistics class, Ohio State University
Columbus, Ohio
Overheard by: Rachel
Health teacher: The four types of sexual activity we’re going to cover are vaginal intercourse, anal sex, oral sex, and mutual masturbation.
Eighth grader: Oral sex? Isn’t that, like, over the phone?
Pyle Middle School
Bethesda, Maryland
Overheard by: Next year the teacher preempted the question in her lecture
Teacher explaining colonization: It all started with rubbers!
Maine
Overheard by: vampire hunter
Professor: What is the Magic Marker-ness of the Magic Marker?
Monmouth University
New Jersey
Professor: Ben, what did you get for that one?
Student: First, I’m Matt. Second, I don’t know.
Professor: Well, it’s okay to be mad.
Student: No, I’m not mad, I’m Matt. M-A-T-T, Matt.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Kelly
Professor: Fondling is not automatically a battery. Fondling is a perfectly permissible activity. Have you considered that some people even like it?
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/05/dont-tell-this-to-guy-on-subway.html
Overheard by: db
Biology professor: No, penises don’t just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Chicken
