Crazies

Crazy old white lady trying on wedding veil: So I always wondered why I didn’t look good in these things…until 2004.
Disinterested customer: Oh?
Crazy old white lady: Yeah, then I found out I was part Native American. At least 5%.
Disinterested customer (confused): Oh…?
Crazy, old white lady: Yeah. That’s why I don’t look good in veils. Cause we Native Americans don’t wear them.
Disinterested customer: I got married in a courthouse.
Crazy old white lady: I hate to say it since I am part white, but damn those white people!

Goodwill
Altoona, Pennsylvania

We Thought Only Americans Knew This Little About Sex Ed.

[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.] 

Western Australia
Australia

Crazy lady: Oh, no! Those teenagers did not just steal my outhouse!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Aristide

Really happy college chick: So many people will die. You know why? The demons are hungry. When you die they eat your soul. They’re hungry and they aren’t happy about it, so people have to die.

Route 16 bus
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/03/happy_souls_fill_their_appetit.html

Overheard by: wishing I had chosen a different seat

Guy: I don’t mean children should burn in hell, just burn a little. Like their hands.

Wisconsin

Loudspeaker in airport: Please don’t leave your belongings unattended.
Crazy lady, to no one: Did they just say homosexuality isn’t allowed in the airport?

Airport
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Kristina

Yelling man: Don’t try to pick my pocket! I’m in the FBI! I have a badge! I know the Constitution! I could kill you!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/07/law-and-order.html

Overheard by: b!X

Hungry person: I would sacrifice a million Asians for 10‐dollar sushi.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/03/01/thats-actually-the-going-exchange-rate/

Out‐patient guy: I am totally embracing this program with both feet first.

Rehab
Parsippany, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Beth

Yeller: I brought you peanuts and toilet paper as a peace offering, and what did you bring me? Nothing! You brought me nothing! What does that say about our relationship?!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/07/for-man-who-has-everything.html

Overheard by: michael