Girl to gay man: Well, if you're going to be a whore, be a classy whore!
Gay man: That's so hot.
Grand Junction, Colorado
(guy grabs girl's hand and licks cotton candy off her finger and licks finger)
Girl: Be careful, you don't where these fingers have been.
Guy: Well, I know last night they were in your vagina.
Girl: Shhh! People can hear you!
Guy: No one's even listening to us!
San Diego, California
Psych professor: Yeah… Snickers bars… top of the list. Best things you can put in your mouth without asking permission.
Harvard Psychology Lecture
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: I prefer Kit-Kats
Skinny girl to prettier friend: You can't toss him a mercy fuck every time his father dies.
Arby's
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Gwen West
Fat American female tourist to new best friend: If ya didn’t like the Vatican, you’re gonna hate the Louvre!
6th Floor, Hilton Arc de Triumph
Paris
France
Overheard by: Pope Andrew I
Homeless woman to preppy kid in pink shirt: Don’t mix your reds and your whites!
Boulder, Colorado
Overenthusiastic principal: So, where’d ya guys go for lunch? Huh?
Jaded student (indicating Subway cup): I ate fresh.
Principal: Did you go the 6 inch route? Or the 12 inch?
Student: I, uhhh… 6.
Principal, grinning: Don’t worry, Shane* -I think you’re man enough to take a 12-inch.
Livingston, Montana
