Friends

(two college girls walking down M Street towards Georgetown)
Girl #1: You look cute. I like your dress.
Girl #2: Yeah…I didn’t shower.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/06/never-said-you-smelled-cute.html

Overheard by:

Girl #1: I bet she has scabies.
Girl #2: Yeah, probably.
Girl #1: Actually, I’m not sure I know what scabies is.
Girl #2: Well, if you can get it from a lizard she probably has it.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Tall chick: I wish I could find a nice, tall guy.
Friend #1: My brother is 6’5″.
Tall chick: Is he cute?
Friend: Well…
Friend #2: He looks like a Mexican pedophile.
Tall chick: 6’5″, eh? I’ll think about it.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress…
Girl, nonplussed: Again?

Newark, Delaware

Overheard by: archie

Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.

UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico

Overheard by: klutch

Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: So, did you guys end up getting anywhere?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: No, I was thirteen!
Drunken, nostalgic girl #1: Yeah, but you didn’t do anything? Like, not even touch his dick?
Drunken, nostalgic girl #2: I don’t know, I was drunk!

Vincennes, Indiana

Overheard by: 202 Tavern Girl

Loud, obnoxious, pregnant girl in a skirt: I’m not wearing any underwear.
Friend, sarcastically: Aren’t you afraid your baby’s going to fall out or something?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/275491256/thats-why-she-carries-glad-bags.html

Overheard by: what not to expect when you’re expecting

Fat American female tourist to new best friend: If ya didn’t like the Vatican, you’re gonna hate the Louvre!

6th Floor, Hilton Arc de Triumph
Paris
France

Overheard by: Pope Andrew I

Skater guy: I’m not into the unibutt.
Friend: The what?
Skater guy: You know, it’s like a unibrow, except a butt.
Friend: What are you talking about?
Skater guy: I am just giving my commentary on how style has affected my life.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-need-something-that-accentuates-crack.html

Overheard by:

College girl #1: If I’m pregnant, the father is either him or his cousin.
College girl #2: Wait, you slept with David* and his cousin?
College girl #1: It wasn’t a big deal, it was a threesome!

Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina

Overheard by: Jennifer