Overheard in Lake County

Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It’s not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.


Woman #1, wearing an arm cast: Yeah, so my husband broke his hand now, too.
Woman #2: How’d he do that?
Woman #1: I ran it over with my car.
Woman #2: Why?!
Woman #1: Well, he ran mine over first!
Woman #2: I guess I can see that as a good reason…


Chick #1: So, you guys might move in together?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: I didn’t know you were that serious.
Chick #2: Well, I had his abortion, so yeah, I guess we’re pretty serious.


Girl: I honestly think anal sex is just as bad as fucking a guy with a girlfriend.


Woman to her dog, as other dogs bark at them: They’re crazy.