Mom standing outside of bathroom stall: Honey, hurry up, there is a line waiting.
Four-year-old girl: I can’t, my body requires me to go slow.
Capitol Building Bathroom
Washington, DC
Mom standing outside of bathroom stall: Honey, hurry up, there is a line waiting.
Four-year-old girl: I can’t, my body requires me to go slow.
Capitol Building Bathroom
Washington, DC
Train conductor: Thank you for traveling on this 3:30 service to Southern Cross. If you need to use the toilet, they are located at the end of each carriage for your convenience. Please remember to both close and lock the door, which will save you from embarrassment and other passengers from blindness.
Train Service to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Meg
Little girl in bathroom stall with mother: Doody! It’s fun to say “doody” in the bathroom! Say “doody,” mom!
Whole Foods
West Orange, New Jersey
Overheard by: I almost said it myself.
Hippie using his pocket PC: It’s very primitive -I use it for solitaire while pooping.
Bean & Leaf Coffee Shop
New London, Connecticut
Overheard by: Overand
Boy in bar: Why does everyone always make me out to be the poo guy?
Oaktown, California
Overheard by: sitting further away now
Woman in cereal aisle: Where’s the one that makes you poop?
Fry’s
Tucson, Arizona
Teen girl: Sam is so sexy. There’s like, no poopy on him.
Palm City, Florida
Overheard by: I don’t know about you
Guy #1: John* really needs to get laid. He hasn’t hooked up for months.
Guy #2: Dude, didn’t you hear what happened to him?
Guy #1: No.
Guy #2: The last girl he brought home shat in his bed. He’s been kind of gun-shy since then.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Doctor: Are you allergic to anything?
Patient: Yes, nuts!
Doctor: What happens when you ingest nuts?
Patient: They come out whole in my poop!
Waterloo, Iowa
