Mom trying to remove splinter from son’s hand: I’m sorry it hurts. When we get home you can take a bath. Sometimes that helps splinters come out.
Toddler, in between sobs: Okay… And this time I’ll try not to poop in the tub.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Hannah
Pilot: Sorry for the delay — we are waiting for the cleaning team. Someone had a problem in the washrooms.
Flight attendant: I’d like to remind everyone that you should poop in the toilet — not outside of the hole but in the hole. Thank you for your collaboration.
Flight near takeoff
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Julien
Teen boy to friends: I tried to drink a whole gallon of milk once, but that didn’t happen and I ended up drinking a half gallon instead. Then I ended up pissing shit, man. It was awful, and it smelled so bad…
Skybridge, Providence Place Mall
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Ang
Hot girl: I haven’t had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me…
Cute friend: It’s ’cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah… And… [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.
Tampa, Florida
Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It’s not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.
http://overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com/2006/07/cleanup-in-childrens-department.html
Thug to pit bull on leash: What time are you gonna shit? … No, seriously, what time?
Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: jchill
Little girl to mom: But I am getting real good! Yesterday I didn't get any poop on my hand!
Public Restroom
Iceland
Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!
University of Northern Norway
Norway
High school girl: I’m so excited! I can’t wait to poop out just a little of this burrito!
Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin
Girl: Sorry about the chafing. My butt still hurts when I poo.
Boy: [Makes sad face.]Girl: From your surprise. I don’t like your surprises.
Boy: It surprised me too!
Boston, Massachusetts
