Voice #1: I’m in the wrong bathroom!
Voice #2: I’m in the wrong bathroom, too!


Guy to girlfriend: I thought it would be funny to eat an O’Henry while pooing.


Overheard by: Alywishus

Girl #1: I was sooo drunk. I woke up and there was shit all over the rug.
Girl #2: That’s not good.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m like disgusted with myself.

University of Delaware

Intercom: The moving walkway is ending.
Little boy: The moving walkway is pooping! Haha! Pooping!

Midway Airport
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: morgz

Burly dude to friend: Last week I took a crap that was like having a second job.

Truck stop, I‑81
Allentown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Tha WB

Teenage girl to friend, giggling: So then she said she was going to put diarrhea on my face!


Gay man: Listen, we’ve all shat, we’ve all farted, we’ve all touched ourselves, and we’ve all used a dildo.
Girls: Ummm… no.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Teen girl in bathroom #1: I’d hate to be a guy and have to use a urinal.
Teen girl in bathroom #2: Oh yeah, that thing looks unsanitary.
Teen girl in bathroom #1: Not even that, but like if you had to go poop then everyone would know it.
Teen girl in bathroom #3: You can’t poop in a urinal?

High School
Coral Springs, Florida

Dad, changing son’s diaper: Why don’t you want to wear a diaper? You want to run around naked and piss and poop all over the floor?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: What are you, an anarchist?

New Jersey

Before Harry Hole Joined the Police Force

Sheepish‐looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn’t taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn’t” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!

University of Northern Norway