Should have used a condom

Little girl, singing: Hey! I’m a crazy bitch, but I fuck so good you’re on top of it when you dream of doing me all night…
Father: What the fuck?! Are you trying to get taken by the social worker?!

Food Court, Connecticut Post Mall
Milford, Connecticut

Very serious little boy to distracted mother: Do you know why I want a solar-powered light saber? Because it’s dangerous!

Southwest YMCA, Quito Avenue
Saratoga, California

Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl

Kid: Mommy, I have to go to the bathroom.
Mom: It’s not too late, is it?
Kid: No, I just let out a little stinker.

http://overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com/2006/07/cleanup-in-childrens-department.html

Very well-behaved boy: Mom, I have been so good lately, can I please get a toy?
Very patient mom: Do you have any money?
Very well-behaved boy: Um… no, but you do. I looked in your wallet this morning.
Very patient mom: That's snooping!
Very well-behaved boy: Well, daddy does it all the time!

Salem, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Jenna

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin

Mom: Can you sit there and be mommy's good boy just a little longer? We're almost done shopping.
Boy: No. I'm not your good boy. I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh you aren't? Then will you be a big boy for me?
Boy: No, I'm not your big boy! I'm not your big boy, and I'm not your good boy anymore.
Mom: Oh really, then what are you?
Boy: I'm a grandma!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/08/read-too-much-shirley-maclaine.html

Overheard by: kari

Little girl at checkstand: Mommy, I want to drink my soda out of a paper bag, just like daddy!

Safeway
Lakeport, California

Overheard by: Corinna

Four-year-old boy, singing: I’m gonna piss in your mouth, I’m gonna piss on your head…
Mom: Sweetie, who are you talking to?
Four-year-old boy: You.
Mom: Oh, okay.

Publix grocery store
Florida

Overheard by: Amused yet appalled

Little girl, singing: You got a fat butt, you got a fat butt!
Mother: Now sweetie, that's not nice to say about mommy.
Little boy: But its true!

Dressing Room
Union, New Jersey

Overheard by: Sarah

Little girl in next stall: But what if Old Faithful starts going while we're not out there?
Girl's mother: Well, you'll have to pee really quickly so mommy can pee and then we can go.
Little girl: But you take a long time to pee.
Mother: Yes, I know.
(pause)
Little girl: You take a long time to pee.
Mother: Well, thank you for announcing that to the entire bathroom.

Restroom, Old Faithful Inn
Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming