Relationships

Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: charlie

Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?

Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota

Old hag: Sometimes I forget I’m married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn’t forget about him, but he not.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/no-wonder-he-is-fucking-your-friend.html

Overheard by: anonymous

Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Professor: I mean, what’s with getting to know them? What about: You see someone, you don’t even talk, you penetrate them.

UCLA
Los Angeles, CA

College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!

Burlington, Vermont

Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?

Orlando, Florida