Why So Many Men Really Go into Obstetrics

Girl #1: So, why did you dump him?
Girl #2: Because he was, like, really creepy!
Girl #1: What? Oh my god! How? He was perfect…!
Girl #2: Yeah, but he said he fantasized about eating babies.
Girl #1: So what?
Girl #2: … Oh my god! I am so glad you convinced me to stay with him! You’re right. He’s totally perfect.
Girl #1: So, you don’t care about the fact he wants to eat babies?
Girl #2: Well, that way at least if I got pregnant I, like, wouldn’t have to go to the doctor’s office to get rid of it!
Girl #1: Yeah, I love saving time.

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/05/whats-funnier-than-a-half-eaten-dead-baby-a-half-eaten-dead-baby-with-marinara-sauce/

Posted on August 8, 2024
Chicks, Overheard at McGill, Relationships

What an Extroverted Engineer Looks Like

Engineer #1: What’s the deal with you and your two friends? What do you need two for?
Engineer #2: Hey! I like my friends! Both of them.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html

Overheard by: charlie

Posted on February 15, 2024
Coworkers, Overheard at Cornell, Relationships

Not If That Requires Fucking

Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?

Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota

Posted on November 21, 2023
Couples, Minnesota, Relationships

You Sound Like Someone Worth Working Hard For

Old hag: Sometimes I forget I’m married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn’t forget about him, but he not.

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/no-wonder-he-is-fucking-your-friend.html

Overheard by: anonymous

Posted on November 14, 2023
Biotechs, Overheard in Philly, Relationships

Oh, Biblically.

Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?

McDonald's
Manhattan, New York

Posted on July 25, 2023
About celebrities, Babysitters, Kids, New York, Questions, Relationships

We Can't Discuss Literature, But the Sex Is Fantastic

Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.

Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Sarah

Posted on July 21, 2023
Age and ageing, Default, Massachusetts, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, Women

Darling, Should We Rethink the Flat-Earth Primary School?

Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.

London
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on July 8, 2023
England, Family, Kids, Offspring, Relationships, Sex

And He Claimed It's Not Meant to Be Eaten Directly from the Jar

Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on June 22, 2023
Default, Food, Friends, Lies, Names, Pennsylvania, Questions, Relationships, Women

That Would Make Wuthering Heights a Lot Shorter

Professor: I mean, what’s with getting to know them? What about: You see someone, you don’t even talk, you penetrate them.

UCLA
Los Angeles, CA

Posted on June 21, 2023
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Relationships, Sex, Teachers

You Have My Chalice in Your Purse!

College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!

Burlington, Vermont

Posted on June 20, 2023
Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Frat boy types, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Vermont

Relationships