Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?
Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota
Chick: I just don’t want any commitments right now.
Dude: Can we still be fuck-buddies?
Caribou Coffee
Mendota Heights, Minnesota
Old hag: Sometimes I forget I’m married. I guess if my husband was rich I wouldn’t forget about him, but he not.
http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/2007/03/no-wonder-he-is-fucking-your-friend.html
Overheard by: anonymous
Five-year-old girl, pointing to picture on cup: Who's that?
Babysitter: That's Ronald McDonald.
Five-year-old girl: Oh… How do you know him?
McDonald's
Manhattan, New York
Woman #1: Do you think that he's kind of young for her?
Woman #2: You know, I've realized that age really doesn't matter. I'm dating a baby right now.
Thai Food Restaurant
Sturbridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Seven-year-old son: And then you two are going to go home and… (whistles)
Father: Meaning?
Seven-year-old son: Have sex.
Mother: Darren!
Five-year-old son: Don't be silly! Girls don't have sex.
London
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Woman in line at the bank: I am thinking about leaving him. All he does is lie to me!
Friend: Oh? Lie about what?
Woman: Well, yesterday he bought me some of that Nutella spread? He said it was chocolate, but I know for a fact that it's hazelnut!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Professor: I mean, what’s with getting to know them? What about: You see someone, you don’t even talk, you penetrate them.
UCLA
Los Angeles, CA
College guy fighting with his girlfriend: What? Do you want me to tell you that my ex-girlfriend treated me like a Greek god? 'cause she did.
(girlfriend storms up the street)
College guy: Wait, uh, come back!
Burlington, Vermont
Girl to ex-boyfriend: You're dating someone already?
Guy: Yeah, we're not together anymore. I can date whoever I want!
Girl: So…do you think you'll stay with her for a long time?
Guy: Well, do you plan on breaking up with someone when you start dating them?
Orlando, Florida
Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Double V
