Guy: I’ve heard rumors…
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it’s not a rumor — it’s the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: overheardinmillersville
Guy: I’ve heard rumors…
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it’s not a rumor — it’s the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: overheardinmillersville
Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: ummmm
Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.
UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California
Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: … Cool.
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/most_teachers_wait_until_they.html
Overheard by: wishing he was my prof
Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.
Subway restaurant
New Zealand
Girl #1: Oh, man, I still have to contribute money for the grad gift.
Girl #2: Yeah, I had to do that yesterday.
Girl #1: What sucks is that you have no say as to how the gift is used. I mean, a portrait of Professor Erickson* is nice, but a statue of Professor Erickson fighting a bear… Now that would be amazing!
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/plus-it-would-probably-embiggen.html
American tourist: It all started when I said, ‘Hey, Dave, are you up for a sword fight?’
Temple Bar
Dublin
Ireland
Girl on cell, completely serious: There’s a party tonight, and the theme is bunnies.
http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/50398.html
Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…
http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/04/what-why-ya-lookin-at-me-like-that.html
Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.
Delaware
Overheard by: Chey