Dude: I went to pet her and she opened up her mouth and my hand went straight in!
Aptos
Central Coast, California
Dude: I went to pet her and she opened up her mouth and my hand went straight in!
Aptos
Central Coast, California
Woman on cell: Well, how long will rehab take? Oh, yes, the biting problem… She’s hasn’t broken the skin in a while, though.
DSW Shoes
Framingham, Massachusetts
Overheard by: mt
Chick: Wow, you’re radiating!
Sunburned girl: Yeah, that’s the sunburn. Oh, and the fact that I get really horny during exams, and all I can think about is boning… C’mon, you know you all do it.
Chick: Yeah, I go to synagogue for that.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/29/that-just-doesnt-seem-kosher/
Teen girl: God, sisters can be annoying.
Single child: I don’t have any. Hey, Abby*, do you have siblings?
Abby: Yeah… A younger brother who’s always calling for advice.
Breeder: Andrew, right?
Abby: That’s him. He’s always calling me. ‘Abby, I want to upgrade from dating stupid, ugly girls to pretty, ugly girls — how do I do it? Abby, what color looks better on me, cream or salmon?’
Only male: Right, the not-exactly-gay brother.
Abby, ignoring him: ‘Abby, I was watching porn and my penis twitched sideways — what do I do?’
Purple-haired girl: What?
Teen girl: I hate to admit it, but if my penis was twitching sideways, I’d call you for advice.
Breeder: So, did you know?
Abby: Guys, I was 13! Of course I didn’t know!
Only male: But you know now?
Abby, as entire group stares: … Three possibilities.
Only male: I’ll call you, then, if my penis twitches sideways.
Steak ‘n Shake
Arkansas
Guy: Well, I’m not gay.
Girl: The jury is still out on that.
Guy: Fine. Let me know when the jury gets in.
Girl: Let me know when you have sex again!
Derby, Connecticut
Overheard by: Jess
Distraught mom on cell: I’ll sum up my vacation in one sentence: Ian punched Goofy in the nuts!
Bus to the Magic Kingdom
California
Overheard by: disneymom
Woman: Human nature is powerless to resist. It’s a bridge. It’s a spoon bridge with a bright red cherry on the other end. The subliminal message is, ‘Climb over the bridge and touch the cherry. Everyone wants to.’
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/i_have_a_new_love_for_the_spoo.html
Overheard by:
Chick #1: So, I was talkin’ to Gary yesterday.
Chick #2: He is so far up his own ass, I’m surprised he can say anything.
Chick #1: Yeah, I know. He was talking about some audio clip he’s doing, and how great it is, and my god — he annoys the shit out of me!
Chick #2: Yeah… Fantastic fuck, though.
Chick #1: Agreed — he is huge… I kind of heart Gary.
Central Station
Sydney
Australia
Hot lady to another: Well, that’s one drawback to being a whore.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: loyal seattle reader
Sleazy white employee: Yeah, man, black girls know how to work it.
Black employee: Uh-huh.
Sleazy white employee, whispering: Yo, man, I was doin’ one one time, though, and I was about to go on her chest and she was like, ‘Nuh-uh,’ and pointed it at me and it went on my chest!
EB Games
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: works downstairs
