Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: … Cool.


Overheard by: wishing he was my prof

Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.

Subway restaurant
New Zealand

Girl #1: Oh, man, I still have to contribute money for the grad gift.
Girl #2: Yeah, I had to do that yesterday.
Girl #1: What sucks is that you have no say as to how the gift is used. I mean, a portrait of Professor Erickson* is nice, but a statue of Professor Erickson fighting a bear… Now that would be amazing!


American tourist: It all started when I said, ‘Hey, Dave, are you up for a sword fight?’

Temple Bar

Girl on cell, completely serious: There’s a party tonight, and the theme is bunnies.


Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…


Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.


Overheard by: Chey

Man: I feel it more in my shoulders than in my colon.
Woman: I don’t feel it in my colon either!


Woman #1, wearing an arm cast: Yeah, so my husband broke his hand now, too.
Woman #2: How’d he do that?
Woman #1: I ran it over with my car.
Woman #2: Why?!
Woman #1: Well, he ran mine over first!
Woman #2: I guess I can see that as a good reason…