Gossip

Guy: I’ve heard rumors…
Girl: About me?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Me and Tina both got knocked up by you.
Guy: What?
Girl: And it’s not a rumor — it’s the truth.
Guy: How drunk was I?

Millersville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: overheardinmillersville

Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!

Austin, Texas

Overheard by: ummmm

Latina: … And so she taught her nephews how to put condoms on by having them practice putting them on her vibrator!
Boy toy: What the fuck? How old are they?
Latina: Eleven.

UCLA, Charles E. Young Drive
Los Angeles, California

Chick #1: Have you ever had a class with him?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Does he really cry in class?
Chick #2: Sometimes.
Chick #1: … Cool.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/most_teachers_wait_until_they.html

Overheard by: wishing he was my prof

Teen girl: I just discovered my fly was undone when my hand was mysteriously near my crotch.

Subway restaurant
New Zealand

Girl #1: Oh, man, I still have to contribute money for the grad gift.
Girl #2: Yeah, I had to do that yesterday.
Girl #1: What sucks is that you have no say as to how the gift is used. I mean, a portrait of Professor Erickson* is nice, but a statue of Professor Erickson fighting a bear… Now that would be amazing!

http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/04/plus-it-would-probably-embiggen.html

American tourist: It all started when I said, ‘Hey, Dave, are you up for a sword fight?’

Temple Bar
Dublin
Ireland

Girl on cell, completely serious: There’s a party tonight, and the theme is bunnies.

http://community.livejournal.com/overheardatbu/50398.html

Dude to friend: I was sitting and then it squirted all over my shirt…

http://overheardatstanford.blogspot.com/2006/04/what-why-ya-lookin-at-me-like-that.html

Student: Oh my god, Suzie! What happened?!
Suzie: I got in a car wreck.
Student: With what?!
Suzie: … A car.

Delaware

Overheard by: Chey