Ladies who lunch

Lady #1: … And I don’t even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That’s hilarious!

B. Dalton — College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: Darcy

Middle‐aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!

Dunkin’ Donuts
University of Rhode Island

Woman #1: Hey, you look good.
Woman #2: Thanks! I’ve been working out… Wanna feel my ass? [Protrudes her rear.] 

Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: AmadeusMaxwell

Lady: … So she goes, ‘I don’t even know if it counts as sex. It was just, like, in and out in one second.’ And she’s only fifteen!

Restaurant, Belltown
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

50‐year‐old woman: I can’t wait to retire so I can drop acid.

Spokane, Washington

Woman: So then he said either I have to quit smoking, or I have to have a baby.

Outback Steakhouse
Leominster, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Amycakes

Woman: She’s 12 and she’s already having candlelight dinners!

Overheard by: girl in scrubs

Woman #1: So… How’s your daughter?
Woman #2: She’s growing up to be a New Yorker.

Trident Coffee Shop, 940 Pearl Street
Boulder, Colorado

Loud lady to friend: So, have you fallen down in any more parking lots this summer?

Panera Bread
White Marsh, Maryland

Overheard by: just eatin my lunch

Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food