Ladies who lunch

Old woman: That’s the problem with men — they treat kids like little adults instead of like–
Younger woman: –Kids?
Old woman: No. Like terrorists.

Washington, DC

Woman #1: I think my new cat is different.
Woman #2: What do you mean by different?
Woman #1: I’m pretty sure he’s metro-sexual, because he meows like a girl.
Woman #2: It could be worse.
Woman #1: Well, I don’t know — I’m fairly sure he has abandonment issues, too.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/06/her_issues_are_much_more_alarm.html

Overheard by:

Woman #1, to table of friends: Well, I’m getting old, too. I’m getting wrinkles.
Woman #2: The thing is, you’re so fucking ugly that no one notices when you get old.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/well-id-rather-be-ugly-on-outside.html

Overheard by: Me.

Woman #1, wearing an arm cast: Yeah, so my husband broke his hand now, too.
Woman #2: How’d he do that?
Woman #1: I ran it over with my car.
Woman #2: Why?!
Woman #1: Well, he ran mine over first!
Woman #2: I guess I can see that as a good reason…

http://overheardinlakecounty.blogspot.com/2006/07/payback-is-bitch.html

Lady to friends: So, have you been to see the cadavers yet?

Restaurant Zoe
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

Lady #1: … And I don’t even know who the daddy is!
Lady #2: That’s hilarious!

B. Dalton – College Square Mall
Cedar Falls, Iowa

Overheard by: Darcy

Middle-aged woman, to older woman: Those were some really good drugs!

Dunkin’ Donuts
University of Rhode Island

Woman #1: Hey, you look good.
Woman #2: Thanks! I’ve been working out… Wanna feel my ass? [Protrudes her rear.]

Arlington, Texas

Overheard by: AmadeusMaxwell

Lady: … So she goes, ‘I don’t even know if it counts as sex. It was just, like, in and out in one second.’ And she’s only fifteen!

Restaurant, Belltown
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: of bugle be uncouth

50-year-old woman: I can’t wait to retire so I can drop acid.

Spokane, Washington